Mary's Reputation

[L Verge]

Very well stated. Thank you.

[Tom Emery]

I'm with Herb on that one, and I find her reply to be very interesting - and very telling.

There have been few First Ladies who evoked the controversy, albeit in different ways, of Mary Todd Lincoln and Hillary Clinton.

[Laurie Verge]

Unfortunately, we still see today plenty of signs that strong-minded, well-educated women are held in contempt by many -- no matter the gender because women can be quite nasty to other women.

[Donna McCreary]

(02-25-2013 08:04 PM)Tom Emery Wrote:  Roger, I absolutely think her Confederate relative ties had something to do with her negative perception.

Confederate Brig. Gen. Benjamin Hardin Helm, who married Mary's half-sister Emilie, was killed at Chickamauga, and Mary had others in Southern service as well. Emilie, as you all know, spent a great deal of time at the White House afterward, where she remained vocal in her Southern leanings.

I've always said the myth of "Brother Against Brother" in the Civil War was kind of overrated, but it certainly applies to Mary Todd's life.

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Roger & Herb, I should also mention that I agree with earlier postings about Herndon's role. Rob and Roger are right -- you can't put it all on Herndon. But I certainly think he played a key role in the poor perception of Mary.

Mary, obviously, didn't help herself, with her temper and her emotional imbalances that helped build some enemies. I think there are several factors, and Herndon is among them, as well as her Confederate relatives.

Emilie Todd Helm spent a total of 14 days visiting the White House. I do not consider that a 'great deal of time." However, I agree completely that she created her share of havoc and mayhem while there. Like most of the Todd girls, Emilie never learned when to keep her mouth shut.

[Liz Rosenthal]

(02-27-2013 11:48 AM)Tom Emery Wrote:  I'm with Herb on that one, and I find her reply to be very interesting - and very telling.

There have been few First Ladies who evoked the controversy, albeit in different ways, of Mary Todd Lincoln and Hillary Clinton.

Hillary Clinton? I think I'd go with Eleanor Roosevelt. While she was First Lady, she was hated (or loved, depending on one's perspective) for going against the grain in almost every way imaginable. Her actions won enemies and fans when it came to her support of African-American civil rights (see Marian Anderson) and showing up in all sorts of unlikely places (e.g., mining sites to see how the miners were doing) and then writing about her investigations in her column, "My Day." What a woman. She's one of the greatest Americans, and humans, who ever lived. (As is Abraham Lincoln.)

[HerbS]

Liz,You are correct about Eleanor Roosevelt.I feel that she set the standard that other First Ladies should follow.FDR had to be difficult to live with at times!

[Tom Emery]

Laurie makes a good point on women sometimes being nasty to other women.

I've spoken to a number of women who think Mary was "nuts" or "crazy" (their words, not mine). They showed very little regard for a woman who had suffered terribly. Fortunately, not everyone feels that way. And, as I've said before, I think that the winds seem to be changing on Mary. People seem to be more sympathetic than in the past.

I agree with the posts on Eleanor Roosevelt, which is why I worded my post "Few First Ladies...." Again, going back to a point Laurie made -- The First Ladies we're talking about (Mary, Eleanor, Hillary) are some of the highest-profile Presidential wives ever. I think that some people have trouble, even today, with strong-willed women, and these three certainly were that. I think that's one reason they experienced the controversy they did.

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As for Emilie spending 14 days there, I think that's a significant amount of time, based on the ramifications -- the fact her husband had served the Confederacy, her own vocal Confederate leanings, the political implications for Lincoln of having Confederate supporters in the White House even if they were family, etc.

There have been some unusual White House guests over the years, to be sure. But we can all agree on Emilie's inability to not voice her opinions, a Todd family trait.

[Laurie Verge]

I remember Rosalyn Carter raising a few eyebrows during the first year or so of her husband's administration also. If I remember correctly, she slid into the background shortly thereafter. Nancy Reagan was accused of being too protective of the President. It was insinuated by some that Barbara Bush wore the pants in the family. And then, there is Mrs. Wilson...

[HerbS]

You on an Historical role-Keep going Laurie!

[Liz Rosenthal]

Let's not forget Lady Bird Johnson and her highway beautification program!

[Bill Richter]

Speaking of Lady Bird's beautification program, I was in DC doing research for my dissertation and roamed all over on Sundays. While on the way to the USMC statue on foot, I passed on the north side of the Potomac one of Lady Bird's projects, formerly a flower garden, that had turned into a weed patch--but the sign was still there. Sic transit gloria.

[Laurie Verge]

Welcome to the wonderful world of funding maintenance in the U.S. government's world.

[Tom Emery]

Laurie, you're absolutely right -- there have been plenty of criticisms of First Ladies, especially recent ones. Some of it is justified, some perceived, and some blown completely out of proportion.

Some of the criticisms are of their time, while others suffer a backlash for programs and causes that we now look well on.

While the more visible First Ladies seem to get their share (as we've talked about with Mary Todd, Hillary, Eleanor, etc), some of the less-visible Presidential wives have plenty of reason to attract some form of criticism. For example, Florence Harding has been labelled as cold and distant (though that's certainly no reason for Warren Harding to have multiple affairs, as he did). Whether that label is deserved is debatable, but that's how some remember her.

Some historians call Mary Lincoln the "worst First Lady of all time." I think that's highly unjustified, and leans too heavily on the negative perceptions that surround her. Also, the Lincoln White House experienced great sadness, with the loss of a child.

Certainly, the Lincolns were not the only ones to lose a child during their Presidency; the Coolidges also come to mind, as do the Kennedys. Several First Ladies also died in their husband's administration; Tyler's first wife, Benjamin Harrison, Wilson's first wife, etc.

But the Lincolns' loss of Willie should account for at least some slack for Mary, let alone the good qualities she had that are so often overlooked.

[L Verge]

I found this a few months back on a site run by the Miller Center of the University of Virginia and thought it an excellent summation of the good and bad points about Mary Lincoln. One thing caught my eye that I had not considered before. Mary became First Lady at the time that American journalism was experiencing an influx of female reporters. We know that women can be tough on other women - could this account for some of the negatives that MTL experienced?

Mary Lincoln
While Abraham Lincoln usually is regarded as savior of the United States, his wife, Mary Todd Lincoln, is often remembered as a shrew and ranked by historians as the worst First Lady in American history. While she could be spiteful, dismissive, corrupt, and jealous, Mary Todd Lincoln could be gracious, caring, and supportive as well.

Her supportive side was very much in evidence during her husband's presidential campaign in 1860. Mary Lincoln was always available for comment on her husband's policies or prospects, was a willing tour guide of the Lincoln home, and was an adviser to her husband, discussing the political prospects of his competitors -- some of whom were her former beaus. It was Mary who had fired Abraham Lincoln's political ambitions and in 1849, had pressured him not to accept the Oregon governorship. Her involvement was so integral that when Lincoln won in November, he exclaimed, "Mary, Mary, we are elected!"

Mary Todd Lincoln was thrilled to become First Lady, a term that had recently entered the American lexicon to describe the President's partner. Mary held elegant buffet dinners, invited intellectuals and literary figures to the White House, and welcomed visitors and guests to her Thursday night receptions and spring and winter receptions. She balanced her social role with an interest in public affairs, reading political journals and newspapers, attending congressional debates, and advising her husband on administration appointments. But even as the public began to regard her as "First Lady," she referred to herself as "Mrs. President." Regardless of which term was used, as her husband assumed his duties under the toughest of circumstances, Mary Lincoln endured hardship simply by being the First Lady.
By the time the Civil War had broken out, criticism of the President and his spouse had become acceptable, and a new fleet of female journalists, focused on the most famous woman in the nation. Articles about Mary Lincoln were plentiful, detailing her spending sprees, her coarse, western ways, and her role as a Southern spy. Despite the latter charge, Mary was committed to the preservation of the Union and showed her support by housing troops in the East Room, ministering to sick and wounded soldiers, and twice refusing to leave Washington, D.C., when the capital was under threat of invasion.

But reporters ignored her courage and caring, often because Mary chose to keep such actions private. Instead, journalists focused on the high costs of her clothes, her frequent New York shopping binges, her trips to the shore, and her expensive redecoration of the White House. At a time when many American families were reeling from financial deprivation because husbands, fathers, and sons were going to war, Mary's lavish lifestyle and indiscriminate spending seemed offensive. When many of these same Americans were experiencing the loss of those same husbands, fathers, and sons, her excursions and activities seemed frivolous and callous.

As a result, when Mary Todd Lincoln mourned the death of her son Willie, few Americans offered their sympathy. She received few condolences and endured rumors that she had beaten her children. Even before she became First Lady, Mary had been sensitive to criticism; after the death of Willie, an already insecure Mary Lincoln had a nervous breakdown and began to suffer from severe depression. She sought solace by consulting mediums who promised contact with her dead son. She even held a seance in the White House.

Despite her grief and the rumor mongering, Mary Lincoln rallied and involved herself in the prosecution of the Civil War. Abraham Lincoln shared military secrets with her, and Mary, like many others, encouraged the President to replace the slow and passive General George McClellan. When France's Prince Bonaparte visited the United States, Mary spoke with him in perfect French.

But while Mary could be an asset to her husband, she was also a liability, often draining the President's energy and patience -- commodities already in short supply. Her frivolous expenditures for French wallpaper and china irritated Abraham Lincoln, who referred to them as "flub-a-dubs." Little did he know that by 1864 his wife was $27,000 in debt and was sharing political secrets with officials who she then pressured for personal loans. Lincoln suffered the embarrassment of Mary's jealous rages and acquiesced in her change of protocol so that on state occasions the President would escort the First Lady only. He -- and his campaign for reelection -- survived a rumor that Mary had become drunk with Russian sailors on one of her trips to New York. Nevertheless, the First Lady continued to be a campaign liability and a source of stress at a time when Abraham Lincoln did not need further strain and anxiety.

Criticized in the North for being a Southern spy, and censured in the South for betraying "the Cause," Mary Todd Lincoln could not win. Of course, she was, at times, her own worst enemy. In one instance, she tried to acquire the salary of an employee who had left the White House and whose responsibilities she had assumed, believing she should be compensated for her work. She, and the President as well, were fortunate that her padding of White House expenses to pay off her enormous personal debt remained a secret during Lincoln's reelection campaign of 1864.
Yet the accomplishments of this chameleon-like First Lady are notable. She willingly accepted the duties of hostess and fashion leader that had become synonymous with the role of First Lady and further cemented the idea that the White House was a gathering place for intellectuals as well as entertainers. Although Mary refused to support women's suffrage, she backed the establishment of a female nursing corps and helped women acquire employment in the Treasury and War Departments. Her interest in the abolition of slavery evolved as her friendship with dressmaker Elizabeth Keckley developed, and she became the first hostess to welcome African Americans as guests to the White House.

When Abraham Lincoln was assassinated, Mary Lincoln grieved doubly as she lost her beloved husband as well as her coveted role. Of the latter, she remarked, "God...what a change! Did ever woman have to suffer so much and experience so great a change? I had an ambition to be Mrs. President; that ambition has been satisfied, and now I must step down from the pedestal." As with those who had come before, and those who would follow, Mary Todd Lincoln lamented her demotion in station and loss of power.

[Gene C]

Do you think Mary Lincoln felt "entitled" as first lady to having the finest clothes and furnishings in the White House in a similiar way many people today (including politicians) think they are entitled to govenment benefits and perks?