Lincoln and His Father

[Craig Hipkins]

Ladies and gents, Here is a letter that Abraham Lincoln wrote to his father Thomas while he was a member of congress in Washington. It is dated December 24, 1848.

Your letter of the 7th. was received night before last. I very cheerfully send you the twenty dollars, which sum you say is necessary to save your land from sale. It is singular that you should have forgotten a judgement against you; and it is more singular that the plaintiff should have let you forget it for so long, particularly as I suppose you have always had property enough to satisfy a judgement of that amount. Before you pay it, it would be well to be sure you have not paid it; or, at least, that you can not prove you have paid it. Give my love to mother, and all the connections. Affectionately your son

I am curious to get some opinions. Was Lincoln being reproachful here? To me, i can sense a sort of tension between the son and the father with this letter. Also, does anyone know if Thomas Lincoln's letter from the 7th has survived?

Craig

[Rob Wick]

Craig,

According to the Collected Works, the letter from Thomas Lincoln was actually written by John D. Johnston, which makes sense since Thomas Lincoln was illiterate. In addition to Thomas asking for money Johnston asked Lincoln for $80 to which Lincoln replied:

Your request for eighty dollars, I do not think it best, to comply with now. At the various times when I have helped you a little, you have said to me ``We can get along very well now'' but in a very short time I find you in the same difficulty again. Now this can only happen by some defect in your conduct. What that defect is I think I know. You are not lazy, and still you are an idler. I doubt whether since I saw you, you have done a good whole day's work in any one day. You do not very much dislike to work; and still you do not work much, merely because it does not seem to you that you could get much for it. This habit of uselessly wasting time, is the whole difficulty; and it is vastly important to you, and still more so to your children that you should break this habit. It is more important to them, because they have longer to live, and can keep out of an idle habit before they are in it; easier than they can get out after they are in.

I think Lincoln was being somewhat reproachful with his father, but given the circumstances of the letter, I think he had something of a right. I think his letter to Johnston is more interesting, however.

Best
Rob

[J. Beckert]

I remember something about Lincoln being asked about not going to see his father before he left for his Congressional term. I think he said something along the lines of he didn't know who the meeting would be more unpleasant for.

[HerbS]

Animosity between father and son shows up"plain and simple".Those letters speak volumes about their "relationship"or lack there of.The more we learn about him, shows us how complex Lincoln's mind was,and all the veriables that surrounded him.

[LincolnMan]

And, perhaps, one of the great unfortunate results of the conflicted relationship was that Thomas didn't have any part in Abraham and Mary's life? Including with the children-before he died?

[Jim Garrett]

Thomas Lincoln never amounted to anything, and never appreciated the accomplishments of his son.

[Craig Hipkins]

Craig,

According to the Collected Works, the letter from Thomas Lincoln was actually written by John D. Johnston, which makes sense since Thomas Lincoln was illiterate. In addition to Thomas asking for money Johnston asked Lincoln for $80 to which Lincoln replied:

Your request for eighty dollars, I do not think it best, to comply with now. At the various times when I have helped you a little, you have said to me ``We can get along very well now'' but in a very short time I find you in the same difficulty again. Now this can only happen by some defect in your conduct. What that defect is I think I know. You are not lazy, and still you are an idler. I doubt whether since I saw you, you have done a good whole day's work in any one day. You do not very much dislike to work; and still you do not work much, merely because it does not seem to you that you could get much for it. This habit of uselessly wasting time, is the whole difficulty; and it is vastly important to you, and still more so to your children that you should break this habit. It is more important to them, because they have longer to live, and can keep out of an idle habit before they are in it; easier than they can get out after they are in.

I think Lincoln was being somewhat reproachful with his father, but given the circumstances of the letter, I think he had something of a right. I think his letter to Johnston is more interesting, however.

Best
Rob

Interesting letter. It seems to me that the only person that Lincoln respected from his childhood that was still living at the time was his step-mother.

Craig

[Hess1865]

I think Lincoln didn't even go to his father's funeral.

[Donna McCreary]

Thomas Lincoln died on Januray 17, 1851, and it is true that Abraham did not attend his father's funeral. It is possible the lack of funeral visitation had nothing to do with the relationship between father and son and more to do with the relationship between a husband and his wife. Mary's maternal grandmother died on January 22, 1850. This death was quickly followed by the death of the Lincoln's young son Edward Baker Lincoln who died on February 1, 1850. Both parents were severaly depressed. Sometimes, the best way to fight depression is to bring a new baby into the family. The Lincoln's welcomed William Wallace Lincoln on December 21, 1850. Thomas died less than a month later.
It would have been horrible to have Mary alone with a new born baby after the emotionally difficult year the couple had endured. Abraham's best course of action was to stay home at that juncture in time.
Sometimes, we have to look at every aspect of a person's life and not just one fact when trying to understand that person's actions. Without written documentation as to exactly why Lincoln did not attend his father's funeral, it is impossible to know if the choice was because of a strained relationship with his father, or because of a need and desire to support and comfort his wife.

[Gene C]

Funerals are for the living anyway! IF you are going to show your respect for someone, do it while they are alive.
As for the family of the deceased, they are going to appreciate your attention in the months that follow, more than the just the days that follow

[LincolnMan]

Good information Donna!

[Hess1865]

Thanks Donna
Makes total sense to me

[HerbS]

Great information Donna,I think both of your reasons are correct.I had a terrible relationship with my father and had to "drag"myself to his funeral.But,I did have support of my wife!

[Craig Hipkins]

I agree. There was nothing that Abraham could do for his dead father, but there was a lot that could be done to comfort his wife during this time.

Craig

[ninabeth13]

It's so sad that Lincoln's mother Nancy Hanks Lincoln died when he was a child. He appears to have been much closer to her, and more like her, than he was to his father.