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Donna McCreary · 03-30-2015, 01:22 PM

For my book, I am working on a list of Mary's true friends -- people whom she could depend upon and trust. I am curious as to whom forum members would include. Whom would you consider Mary's closest friend(s)? Who pretended to be a friend and merely used Mary to gain access to the President or for their own social gain?
Family members such as Emilie, Elizabeth, so forth, need not be included on this list as they are included elsewhere.
I've included the most obvious -- Hannah Shearer; Mary Jane Wells; Mercy Levering; Julia Jayne; Charles Sumner; Rhoda White; Elizabeth Keckly; Sally Orne. I am hesitant to include some because I have not decided if they were true friends or users.

Thoughts?

Gene C · 03-30-2015, 03:41 PM

James Smith - a Presbyterian minister
http://www.mrlincolnandfriends.org/insid...bjectID=10

RJNorton · 03-30-2015, 04:09 PM

Eliza Slataper?

Eva Elisabeth · 03-30-2015, 04:57 PM

Her grand-nephew Edward Lewis Baker.
https://books.google.de/books?id=Ja16KVw...CBEQ6AEwAg

LincolnMan · 03-30-2015, 06:43 PM

Henry Clay!

L Verge · 03-30-2015, 07:14 PM

The lawyers who came to her aid when she was placed in Bellevue?? Clara Harris socialized with her before that dreadful night, didn't she?

Eva Elisabeth · 03-30-2015, 07:36 PM

The Bradwells weren't really close friends, and AFAIK Mary didn't keep in touch with them later. Also they didn't attend her funeral.

LincolnToddFan · 03-30-2015, 08:10 PM

Definitely abolitionist Jane Swisshelm, who came to the WH all prepared to dislike Mary and came to love and respect her.

I am glad to see Charles Sumner on the list because he proved to be a true and loyal friend, especially after the assassination.

Elizabeth Blair Lee was a confidante of MTL's during the WH years.

I can't wait to read your book Donna! Tongue

Donna McCreary · (This post was last modified: 03-30-2015 09:04 PM by Donna McCreary.)

I plan to include Elizabeth Keckly in this section, but sometimes I think her betrayal of Mary was greater than her friendship. If Keckly had never written her book, would historians even remember her? Many of the letters Mary wrote to Keckly have the tone of something written to an employee, not a dear friend. Even though Keckly dropped everything to help Mary with the Old Clothes sale, I often wonder if her motives were somewhat self-serving.

(03-30-2015 06:43 PM)LincolnMan Wrote: Henry Clay!

Oh yes! He is one of the most important friends from her childhood.

Speaking of which -- does anyone remember the name of the lady who wrote about Mary at school? Later in life, she moved to Louisville, Kentucky. I can not find her name anywhere!

LincolnToddFan · (This post was last modified: 03-30-2015 10:36 PM by LincolnToddFan.)

[Even though Keckly dropped everything to help Mary with the Old Clothes sale, I often wonder if her motives were somewhat self-serving.]// quote

Donna it's possible..but we need to remember that after the assassination Keckly completely gave up her sewing business to care for Mary. And when Mary left DC for Chicago in May 1865, she emotionally blackmailed Lizzie into leaving Washington and coming with her, even though it was financially ruinous for Keckly to do so. She needed to work, but during the weeks and months she was tending to Mary in the wake of Lincoln's death and in Chicago she left her business by the wayside.

I think saying that she was not a true friend to Mary because of the memoir is kind of throwing out the baby with the bathwater. During the crucible of the WH years Keckly was a rock to her, something MTL repeatedly acknowledges in her anthology of published letters.

Eva Elisabeth · 03-31-2015, 02:45 AM

I am on the fence. I agree on both, Mary acknowledging E. K. was a rock to her during the W.H.years (and was quite disappointed she wasn't with her during the night of April 14/15), as well as that on the other hand her "instruction letters" regarding the clothes sale sound like to an employee rather than to a friend, but then again Mary wrote in that kind of demanding tone also to (other) closest friends (e.g. when she ordered them to visit her).

Re: "Keckly completely gave up her sewing business to care for Mary" - I'm afraid this doesn't tell anything about Mary's view on the friendship.

As for Clara Harris, I would think she, like Julia Taft, was rather a surrogate daughter to Mary.

Gene C · 03-31-2015, 07:11 AM

(03-30-2015 09:02 PM)Donna McCreary Wrote: Speaking of which -- does anyone remember the name of the lady who wrote about Mary at school? Later in life, she moved to Louisville, Kentucky. I can not find her name anywhere!

Are you thinking of Elizabeth Humphreys? She's mentioned in Ruth Randall's book - Mary Lincoln Biography of a Marriage (page 19)

RJNorton · 03-31-2015, 07:39 AM

(03-31-2015 07:11 AM)Gene C Wrote:
(03-30-2015 09:02 PM)Donna McCreary Wrote: Speaking of which -- does anyone remember the name of the lady who wrote about Mary at school? Later in life, she moved to Louisville, Kentucky. I can not find her name anywhere!

Are you thinking of Elizabeth Humphreys? She's mentioned in Ruth Randall's book - Mary Lincoln Biography of a Marriage (page 19)

Or Susan Yandell?

HerbS · (This post was last modified: 03-31-2015 07:58 AM by HerbS.)

I am glad to see that Mary had some "true blue" friends.I have always felt that you you are a friend to the end! You see that in the word friend,there is the word end,thus,you are a friend to the end! In Mary's case she needed friends to the end.As we grow older,our friendships come and go,A true friend stays with you through"thick and thin".We often have friends and acquaintences. There,I hope that I have helped!

L Verge · 03-31-2015, 09:15 AM

(03-30-2015 10:24 PM)LincolnToddFan Wrote: [Even though Keckly dropped everything to help Mary with the Old Clothes sale, I often wonder if her motives were somewhat self-serving.]// quote

Donna it's possible..but we need to remember that after the assassination Keckly completely gave up her sewing business to care for Mary. And when Mary left DC for Chicago in May 1865, she emotionally blackmailed Lizzie into leaving Washington and coming with her, even though it was financially ruinous for Keckly to do so. She needed to work, but during the weeks and months she was tending to Mary in the wake of Lincoln's death and in Chicago she left her business by the wayside.

I think saying that she was not a true friend to Mary because of the memoir is kind of throwing out the baby with the bathwater. During the crucible of the WH years Keckly was a rock to her, something MTL repeatedly acknowledges in her anthology of published letters.

I think Toia is right on the bonds between Mrs. Lincoln and Elizabeth Keckly. I cannot remember where I heard/read that much of the "gossip" contained in Keckly's book was sort of forced out of her by the publisher in order to make it a better seller on the market. Lizzie conceded thinking that the sales would better serve Mrs. Lincoln.