More on Mrs. Lincoln's [non] faux pas

[L Verge]

I'm not sure how others were allowed to post under the original, long name of the previous thread. When I tried, the computer informed me that Mr. Lockmiller's title was too long. So, in the interest of full disclosure, I have shortened that title a bit in order to express my thoughts.

This reference to Mary's dress at the death of Baker is so typically Burlingame...

If he had researched Victorian mourning customs, he would have found that the all-black attire that women chose was relegated mainly to relatives of the deceased -- widows, grieving children, sisters, aunts. In some areas of southern climate, all-white was used for heavy mourning (and still is).

Varying shades of purple were used when coming out of mourning, but were also perfectly acceptable when attending the funeral of a friend. The death of Baker did not necessitate Mary observing deep mourning. He was a friend, but he was not a statesman of note that would have required a state funeral or national mourning. Mary made a perfectly acceptable choice in dress.

In one of the six sources that I consulted, I found this interesting comment about the morbidity that was created by the American Civil War - which may have resulted in relaxing funeral customs over the successive decades:

"In America, the change in mourning had been brewing long before Victoria’s death. The Civil War helped to instigate this change. The war lasted from 1861 to 1865, and approximately 618,000 soldiers died. Twice as many Southern soldiers died than Northern and practically the whole population of the South was in mourning. The depression that all the women in black caused added to an already grieving nation. At one point the governor of Mississippi actually tried to pass a law banning Victorian mourning garb because of the low morale of the people. War changed America’s rigid mourning rules out of neccessity. "

It is fine with me that this additional topic on bashing MTL is posted at this time. Surratt House Museum has a mourning exhibit mounted right now that is intriguing our visitors. It also means that funerary customs are fresh in my mind so that I can give informed answers. It reinforces my contention that a good historian understands fully the customs and background of the era that he studies before making generalizations.

[LincolnToddFan]

BRAVO Laurie!

After I finished typing my response I realized that lilac was indeed considered a mourning color in Victorian times. Didn't the great poet Walt Whitman even write a poem about lilacs blooming when AL was assassinated? If MTL had worn pink or red to the funeral, perhaps there would have been some cause for concern!

BTW I got the same response as yourself about my post being too long when I originally tried to reply.

Strange!

[Linda Anderson]

I got the same message about the name being too long when I originally tried to post so that's why I shortened it to Mary Todd Lincoln's faux pas (plural),.

[Gene C]

It also means that funerary customs are fresh in my mind so that I can give informed answers. It reinforces my contention that a good historian understands fully the customs and background of the era that he studies before making generalizations.

Excellent point Laurie. Can you imagine the scandal if Mary had worn a black, below the knee, mourning dress, that would be perfectly acceptable today, or even 50 years ago?
https://samanthalightgallagher.files.wor...ennedy.jpg

[L Verge]

BRAVO Laurie!

After I finished typing my response I realized that lilac was indeed considered a mourning color in Victorian times. Didn't the great poet Walt Whitman even write a poem about lilacs blooming when AL was assassinated? If MTL had worn pink or red to the funeral, perhaps there would have been some cause for concern!

BTW I got the same response as yourself about my post being too long when I originally tried to reply.

Strange!

And lest we forget --- Purple (and its varying shades) was Mrs. Lincoln's favorite color. Isn't there a reference somewhere to her redecorating the Red Room with purple items? If she wore lavendar, maybe it was a show of affection for Baker?

[David Lockmiller]

I'm not sure how others were allowed to post under the original, long name of the previous thread. When I tried, the computer informed me that Mr. Lockmiller's title was too long. So, in the interest of full disclosure, I have shortened that title a bit in order to express my thoughts.

This reference to Mary's dress at the death of Baker is so typically Burlingame...

If he had researched Victorian mourning customs, he would have found that the all-black attire that women chose was relegated mainly to relatives of the deceased -- widows, grieving children, sisters, aunts. In some areas of southern climate, all-white was used for heavy mourning (and still is).

Varying shades of purple were used when coming out of mourning, but were also perfectly acceptable when attending the funeral of a friend. The death of Baker did not necessitate Mary observing deep mourning. He was a friend, but he was not a statesman of note that would have required a state funeral or national mourning. Mary made a perfectly acceptable choice in dress.

In one of the six sources that I consulted, I found this interesting comment about the morbidity that was created by the American Civil War - which may have resulted in relaxing funeral customs over the successive decades:

"In America, the change in mourning had been brewing long before Victoria’s death. The Civil War helped to instigate this change. The war lasted from 1861 to 1865, and approximately 618,000 soldiers died. Twice as many Southern soldiers died than Northern and practically the whole population of the South was in mourning. The depression that all the women in black caused added to an already grieving nation. At one point the governor of Mississippi actually tried to pass a law banning Victorian mourning garb because of the low morale of the people. War changed America’s rigid mourning rules out of neccessity. "

It is fine with me that this additional topic on bashing MTL is posted at this time. Surratt House Museum has a mourning exhibit mounted right now that is intriguing our visitors. It also means that funerary customs are fresh in my mind so that I can give informed answers. It reinforces my contention that a good historian understands fully the customs and background of the era that he studies before making generalizations.

Mary Lincoln shocked many people at Edward D. Baker’s funeral by appearing in a lilac dress, bonnet, and gloves. Some members of her circle, thinking she should be made aware of that breach of etiquette, dispatched one of her closest friends to convey the message. Upon arriving at the White House, the emissary was greeted by Mary Lincoln with an exclamation: “I am so glad you have come, I am just as mad I can be. Mrs. Crittenden has just been here to remonstrate with me for wearing my lilac suit to Colonel Baker’s funeral. I wonder if the women of Washington expect me to muffle myself up in mourning for every soldier killed in this great War?”

“But Mrs. Lincoln,” came the reply, “do you not think black more suitable to wear at a funeral because there is a great war in the nation?”

“No, I don’t. I want the women to mind their own business; I intend to wear what I please.”



So, it is your contention that the other women attending the funeral of Colonel Baker that day, including "one of her closest friends" and Senator Crittenden's wife, were completely unaware of the proper funeral etiquette for the time and circumstance?

Or, are you saying the entire story, or the principal portion of the story, was a fabrication by Professor Burlingame to disparage the reputation of the President's wife?

The cited source references used by Professor Burlingame were: Clipping from the New York, Commercial Gazette, 9 Jan. 1887, J. G. Randall Papers, Library of Congress; Washington correspondence by Vidette, 11 Dec. 1861, New York Commercial Advertiser, 13 Dec. 1861; reminiscences of John Palmer Usher, unidentified clipping, Otto Eisenschiml Papers, University of Iowa.

By the way, the funeral of Colonel Baker took place in the first year of the Civil War when there was not much actual combat, relatively speaking.

[Gene C]

This may not answer anyones concerns, but I find it odd that as well educated as Mary Lincoln was, and as much into fashion as she was, I find it difficult to believe that she would not know what was proper dress for the funeral of a close family friend. And I also find it hard to believe that if she did know, that she didn't care.

But stranger things have happened. Why just the other day while digging in his yard, SSlater found an old civil war period diary.

[L Verge]

I am saying that Mrs. Lincoln was not a blood relative of Baker and therefore was not bound to dress all in black. I am also insinuating that Prof. Burlingame picks and chooses his historical citations in reference to the First Lady in order to address his personal opinions. Given the 1887 citation, the distant date from the occasion makes it questionable as does the word "reminiscences" in describing Mr. Usher's citation - and to see that it came through the Eisenschiml Papers makes me even more suspicious.

And Gene, you are absolutely correct in assuming that someone of Mrs. Lincoln's social standing (from childhood on) would know proper etiquette. Her weakest time on the social scene would have been her early years of marriage to a "prairie lawyer." BTW: Has anyone researched how long Mr. Lincoln remained in mourning for his friend? Did he wear an armband or rosette in remembrance for any extended period - or at all? If so, the professor should have noted that in his bio to reinforce his ideas of the compassionate Abraham Lincoln.

[Gene C]

The cited source references used by Professor Burlingame were: Clipping from the New York, Commercial Gazette, 9 Jan. 1887, J. G. Randall Papers, Library of Congress; Washington correspondence by Vidette, 11 Dec. 1861, New York Commercial Advertiser, 13 Dec. 1861; reminiscences of John Palmer Usher, unidentified clipping, Otto Eisenschiml Papers, University of Iowa.

David, thanks for citing the sources.
When they are right, it's good to share the credit
When they're wrong, you get to blame somebody else

[LincolnToddFan]

[Has anyone researched how long Mr. Lincoln remained in mourning for his friend? Did he wear an armband or rosette in remembrance for any extended period - or at all?]//quote Laurie

Excellent point Laurie. The only person I have read that Lincoln ever wore mourning for was his beloved Willie.

Yes, that's right. Lincoln's father Thomas, Elmer Ellsworth, Edward Baker, why not even "Greatest Love" Ann Rutledge ever merited the black mourning ribbon AL placed around his hat for Willie!

[David Lockmiller]

The cited source references used by Professor Burlingame were: Clipping from the New York, Commercial Gazette, 9 Jan. 1887, J. G. Randall Papers, Library of Congress; Washington correspondence by Vidette, 11 Dec. 1861, New York Commercial Advertiser, 13 Dec. 1861; reminiscences of John Palmer Usher, unidentified clipping, Otto Eisenschiml Papers, University of Iowa.

David, thanks for citing the sources.
When they are right, it's good to share the credit
When they're wrong, you get to blame somebody else

Good point! Laurie has said she has six sources that say that Mary wearing Lilac was not a breach of funeral etiquette at Colonel Baker's funeral. Only two of Mary's fellow mourners complained directly to Mary that this was a breach of funeral etiquette. Six to two. Does this mean Mary's two critics were wrong? I don't think so. What do you think?

And, I wonder why the two New York newspapers reporting the story twenty-six years apart did not check (presumably) with funeral etiquette experts before printing the same story.

---

I am saying that Mrs. Lincoln was not a blood relative of Baker and therefore was not bound to dress all in black. I am also insinuating that Prof. Burlingame picks and chooses his historical citations in reference to the First Lady in order to address his personal opinions. Given the 1887 citation, the distant date from the occasion makes it questionable as does the word "reminiscences" in describing Mr. Usher's citation - and to see that it came through the Eisenschiml Papers makes me even more suspicious.

And Gene, you are absolutely correct in assuming that someone of Mrs. Lincoln's social standing (from childhood on) would know proper etiquette. Her weakest time on the social scene would have been her early years of marriage to a "prairie lawyer." BTW: Has anyone researched how long Mr. Lincoln remained in mourning for his friend? Did he wear an armband or rosette in remembrance for any extended period - or at all? If so, the professor should have noted that in his bio to reinforce his ideas of the compassionate Abraham Lincoln.

Also, I don't think that the professor noted whether President Lincoln was wearing black at the funeral. Maybe Professor Burlingame should devote a whole book to the funeral of Colonel Baker.

[LincolnToddFan]

Why not?? He certainly has devoted what could constitute a whole book on the subject of AL's wicked and unloved wife!

[Gene C]

Also, I don't think that the professor noted whether President Lincoln was wearing black at the funeral. Maybe Professor Burlingame should devote a whole book to the funeral of Colonel Baker.

So much attention has been given to what Mary Lincoln wore, I'm a bit curious as to what Abraham wore. From what I can tell of the old black and white photo's, Mary wore a lot of color in her dresses. From the old black and white photo's of Abraham, he seems to wear a lot of black. I certainly can't picture him wearing a lavender coat to a funeral, or even to a more festive activity, like a night at the theater. Anyway, my absurd point is, if the fashion trend setting Abraham Lincoln knew what to wear to a funeral, surely his wife and dressmaker knew too. My theory is maybe she had somewhere important to go to immediately after the funeral (like a Bar Mitzvah) and didn't have time to change.

[RJNorton]

So much attention has been given to what Mary Lincoln wore, I'm a bit curious as to what Abraham wore.

Gene, here is President Lincoln in a different setting - at the Soldiers' Home. This drawing was done by a Frenchman named Pierre Morand. Morand had moved to the United States, and he became acquainted with Abraham Lincoln after the Civil War began. Although he was not a professional, he made several sketches of the president.

[L Verge]

Thank you for finding that and posting it, Roger, because I was reminded of this sketch when I made my comments about whether or not Lincoln observed mourning.

As for expecting newspaper reporters to do background checks for information (especially on something as trivial as social customs of several generations before) at any time in the late-1800s through today, is asking a lot. Welcome to the world of yellow press for heaven's sake!

I believe that our "discussions" on this subject with Mr. Lockmiller could go on ad nauseam. It is obvious that I think Mary Lincoln (as quirky as she might have been) has received unfair treatment over the years by authors -- but especially harsh treatment by Burlingame, whom David sees as a giant in the field. Personally, I feel that it is time for Mary to be honestly and fairly treated by historians who do not bring their personal feelings and experiences into the game.