Mary''s other clothes ?

[Anita]

Question.

Mary's photos show her in gowns or black morning dress during the White House Years.
What did she wear when she went to church, out shopping, or just relaxing at the Lincoln Cottage?

Did ladies of the day have casual clothes for informal occasions or just relaxing?

[L Verge]

If Donna Mc or Betty O don't jump in also, I will try to expand on this answer later. I believe that Mary Lincoln spent a good deal of her time on earth in black, mourning garb. If you want to start with the death of her mother when Mary was very young and carry through her loss of Eddie and then Willie, you can account for quite a few years.

I know that she went into mourning over Willie in February of 1862 and did not shed her widow's weeds until January of 1865, in time for the Second Inauguration. I don't remember reading whether she stayed in full mourning (all black) for the full three years, but she was following the acceptable standard of a 2-3 year period. If she emerged from all black near the end, it would have been into shades of lavender or gray or by adding little touches of white, such as the collar. Remember also, that mourning included proper mourning jewelry composed of onyx or black jet or (for the more modest income), gutta percha. We won't go into handkerchiefs, shawls, bonnets and veils, and even stationery.

She came out of mourning at the first of 1865, and went right back into it 3-1/2 months later with the assassination of her husband, and I believe that she - like Queen Victoria - stayed in mourning until her own death in 1882. Of course, Tad's death came in the intervening years also.

Getting briefly off the subject of clothing, I have always thought how awful it must have been for her to be pretty much in seclusion from 1865 on with little that she could do to take her mind off of her troubles. A lady of her stature wouldn't seek a job to earn income or relieve monotony; how many social clubs were there for her to join? Tad went to boarding school, so that left her more alone. I would think that even trips abroad might be meaningless without her husband.

Back to clothing: Ladies of her period and stature actually had clothes designed for the period of day, the purpose for which they were worn, etc. The day might begin with essential underpinnings topped by a proper morning robe - not to be confused with a bathrobe (don't descend the stairs to breakfast in your bathrobe - it was only for the bedroom and toilette). There were work dresses, even for women of better means who might still want to dust the furniture or cook a meal (sans hoop). There were simple day dresses and fancier afternoon dresses for paying calls or entertaining visitors, appropriate garb for church, certainly off-the-shoulder ball gowns, and even what most termed walking dresses, which had slightly elevated hemlines so that the dress did not drag across the grass or the mud.

Mary also went through a few cycles of style during her time. By the time of the assassination, hoops were going out of style, skirts were growing slimmer with more "back interest," which led to the famous bustle (which enjoyed two cycles of popularity in the late-1800s). By maintaining heavy mourning for the remaining 17 years of her life after 1865, she was also required to keep up with fashion. Another cross to have to bear.

BTW: Mourning customs for widowers were quite different.

[Donna McCreary]

When relaxing, Mary, like other women in the Victorian era, wore a wrapper. Day dresses were worn to church, shopping, visiting hospitals, and several other occasions.

All of Mary's clothing was not black, nor is she wearing mourning attire in all of her photographs. Actually, she is wearing mourning attire in only three or four of them. Other colors she wore included magenta, green and white plaid, white, steel, pink, blue and many others.

I do not wish to appear to be promoting my books, but there is not a better study of Mary Lincoln's clothing than FASHIONABLE FIRST LADY: The Victorian Wardrobe of Mary Lincoln. It was used by the costume director of Steven Spielberg's movie LINCOLN, and has been used by many others trying to recreate Mary's clothing.

[Gene C]

Donn'a posts are always interesting.
This is the book referred to above. There are only a few copies available.

https://www.amazon.com/Fashionable-First...888&sr=1-1

[L Verge]

(03-31-2018 06:14 PM)Donna McCreary Wrote:  When relaxing, Mary, like other women in the Victorian era, wore a wrapper. Day dresses were worn to church, shopping, visiting hospitals, and several other occasions.

All of Mary's clothing was not black, nor is she wearing mourning attire in all of her photographs. Actually, she is wearing mourning attire in only three or four of them. Other colors she wore included magenta, green and white plaid, white, steel, pink, blue and many others.

I do not wish to appear to be promoting my books, but there is not a better study of Mary Lincoln's clothing than FASHIONABLE FIRST LADY: The Victorian Wardrobe of Mary Lincoln. It was used by the costume director of Steven Spielberg's movie LINCOLN, and has been used by many others trying to recreate Mary's clothing.

Donna - Am I correct that she spent most of her time in mourning garb after 1862? I thought that was what Anita was referring to. Of course, she would have worn colorful dresses during the early part of her life and until tragedy struck with her children and husband.

[Donna McCreary]

(04-01-2018 09:38 AM)L Verge Wrote:  

(03-31-2018 06:14 PM)Donna McCreary Wrote:  When relaxing, Mary, like other women in the Victorian era, wore a wrapper. Day dresses were worn to church, shopping, visiting hospitals, and several other occasions.

All of Mary's clothing was not black, nor is she wearing mourning attire in all of her photographs. Actually, she is wearing mourning attire in only three or four of them. Other colors she wore included magenta, green and white plaid, white, steel, pink, blue and many others.

I do not wish to appear to be promoting my books, but there is not a better study of Mary Lincoln's clothing than FASHIONABLE FIRST LADY: The Victorian Wardrobe of Mary Lincoln. It was used by the costume director of Steven Spielberg's movie LINCOLN, and has been used by many others trying to recreate Mary's clothing.

Donna - Am I correct that she spent most of her time in mourning garb after 1862? I thought that was what Anita was referring to. Of course, she would have worn colorful dresses during the early part of her life and until tragedy struck with her children and husband.

About one year after Willie's death in 1862, Mary hosted a reception for Charles Sherwood Stratton (General Tom Thumb) and his new bride Lavinia Warren. Mary wore pink. She worn several colors associated with mourning - such as purple, black, and gray - however, her dress style was not mourning. Mary wore purple velvet - velvet is not a mourning fabric because of its sheen. Black clothing was considered appropriate business attire for men and women. So, when Mary went to the Senate chambers to listen to debate, she sometimes wore black. One newspaper recorded on one particular day Mary wore a black dress trimmed with ermine -- again -- not mourning attire.

A couple of months prior to Lincoln's death, Mary ordered quite a bit of mourning attire. Some historians have taken this to mean that she was still in mourning for Willie. Some think it was because she had a premonition that Lincoln would die. What happened was that she was thrust back into mourning. Her brother Levi died in October 1864, and her uncle, Dr. John Todd, died in January 1865. This is why Mary wore black and white to the theatre in April. She was mourning her brother and uncle.

[Anita]

Thank you Donna and Laurie! Yes, I wasn't clear in my post. I meant the White House years after Willie's death.

Donna, I ordered your book after reading your recent posts on another thread related to Mary's first inaugural gown and seed pearl jewelry. I knew your book belonged in my library. It should arrive this week!

[Donna McCreary]

(04-01-2018 11:38 AM)Anita Wrote:  Thank you Donna and Laurie! Yes, I wasn't clear in my post. I meant the White House years after Willie's death.

Donna, I ordered your book after reading your recent posts on another thread related to Mary's first inaugural gown and seed pearl jewelry. I knew your book belonged in my library. It should arrive this week!

Hope you enjoy it!

---

(04-01-2018 06:19 AM)Gene C Wrote:  Donn'a posts are always interesting.
This is the book referred to above. There are only a few copies available.

https://www.amazon.com/Fashionable-First...888&sr=1-1

$182.00 for a new copy! Geez -- I sure am not getting that for them. Amazon may only have a few copies, but I have several at home. Anyone interested can send me a private message and I will not only ship them to you, but I will also autograph copies.

[L Verge]

(04-01-2018 11:17 AM)Donna McCreary Wrote:  

(04-01-2018 09:38 AM)L Verge Wrote:  

(03-31-2018 06:14 PM)Donna McCreary Wrote:  When relaxing, Mary, like other women in the Victorian era, wore a wrapper. Day dresses were worn to church, shopping, visiting hospitals, and several other occasions.

All of Mary's clothing was not black, nor is she wearing mourning attire in all of her photographs. Actually, she is wearing mourning attire in only three or four of them. Other colors she wore included magenta, green and white plaid, white, steel, pink, blue and many others.

I do not wish to appear to be promoting my books, but there is not a better study of Mary Lincoln's clothing than FASHIONABLE FIRST LADY: The Victorian Wardrobe of Mary Lincoln. It was used by the costume director of Steven Spielberg's movie LINCOLN, and has been used by many others trying to recreate Mary's clothing.

Donna - Am I correct that she spent most of her time in mourning garb after 1862? I thought that was what Anita was referring to. Of course, she would have worn colorful dresses during the early part of her life and until tragedy struck with her children and husband.

About one year after Willie's death in 1862, Mary hosted a reception for Charles Sherwood Stratton (General Tom Thumb) and his new bride Lavinia Warren. Mary wore pink. She may worn several colors associated with mourning - such as purple, black, and gray - however, her dress style was not mourning. Mary wore purple velvet - velvet is not a mourning fabric because of its sheen. Black clothing was considered appropriate business attire for men and women. So, when Mary went to the Senate chambers to listen to debate, she sometimes wore black. One newspaper recorded on one particular day Mary wore a black dress trimmed with ermine -- again -- not mourning attire.

A couple of months prior to Lincoln's death, Mary ordered quite a bit of mourning attire. Some historians have taken this to mean that she was still in mourning for Willie. Some think it was because she had a premonition that Lincoln would die. What happened was that she was thrust back into mourning. Her brother Levi died in October 1864, and her uncle, Dr. John Todd, died in January 1865. This is why Mary wore black and white to the theatre in April. She was mourning her brother and uncle.

Thanks for the clarifications, Donna Mc. Many long years ago, when Surratt House first started doing their popular Victorian mourning exhibit (before your book came out), we researched Mary Lincoln in mourning. I do not recall any sources at that time that indicated she broke mourning after Willie's death - such as during the Stratton reception. Several sources that I see today also state that she remained in mourning for Willie for 2-3 years, not emerging until January of 1865. Is this just a lack of research on the part of other authors? As much as Mary enjoyed fine clothes, I can certainly see her "cheating" on strict society's rules.

We used to sell your book in our gift shop, but I think we've sold out. I'm at home and not able to check our research center's shelves to see if we have a copy there in what is basically our Victorian Life section.

Some of you may enjoy this about the Stratton wedding: http://www.mrlincolnswhitehouse.org/the-...tom-thumb/ and also this: https://www.nytimes.com/1863/02/11/archi...l-tom.html

[L Verge]

(04-01-2018 01:49 PM)L Verge Wrote:  

(04-01-2018 11:17 AM)Donna McCreary Wrote:  

(04-01-2018 09:38 AM)L Verge Wrote:  

(03-31-2018 06:14 PM)Donna McCreary Wrote:  When relaxing, Mary, like other women in the Victorian era, wore a wrapper. Day dresses were worn to church, shopping, visiting hospitals, and several other occasions.

All of Mary's clothing was not black, nor is she wearing mourning attire in all of her photographs. Actually, she is wearing mourning attire in only three or four of them. Other colors she wore included magenta, green and white plaid, white, steel, pink, blue and many others.

I do not wish to appear to be promoting my books, but there is not a better study of Mary Lincoln's clothing than FASHIONABLE FIRST LADY: The Victorian Wardrobe of Mary Lincoln. It was used by the costume director of Steven Spielberg's movie LINCOLN, and has been used by many others trying to recreate Mary's clothing.

Donna - Am I correct that she spent most of her time in mourning garb after 1862? I thought that was what Anita was referring to. Of course, she would have worn colorful dresses during the early part of her life and until tragedy struck with her children and husband.

About one year after Willie's death in 1862, Mary hosted a reception for Charles Sherwood Stratton (General Tom Thumb) and his new bride Lavinia Warren. Mary wore pink. She may worn several colors associated with mourning - such as purple, black, and gray - however, her dress style was not mourning. Mary wore purple velvet - velvet is not a mourning fabric because of its sheen. Black clothing was considered appropriate business attire for men and women. So, when Mary went to the Senate chambers to listen to debate, she sometimes wore black. One newspaper recorded on one particular day Mary wore a black dress trimmed with ermine -- again -- not mourning attire.

A couple of months prior to Lincoln's death, Mary ordered quite a bit of mourning attire. Some historians have taken this to mean that she was still in mourning for Willie. Some think it was because she had a premonition that Lincoln would die. What happened was that she was thrust back into mourning. Her brother Levi died in October 1864, and her uncle, Dr. John Todd, died in January 1865. This is why Mary wore black and white to the theatre in April. She was mourning her brother and uncle.

Thanks for the clarifications, Donna Mc. Many long years ago, when Surratt House first started doing their popular Victorian mourning exhibit (before your book came out), we researched Mary Lincoln in mourning. I do not recall any sources at that time that indicated she broke mourning after Willie's death - such as during the Stratton reception. Several sources that I see today also state that she remained in mourning for Willie for 2-3 years, not emerging until January of 1865. Is this just a lack of research on the part of other authors? As much as Mary enjoyed fine clothes, I can certainly see her "cheating" on strict society's rules.

We used to sell your book in our gift shop, but I think we've sold out. I'm at home and not able to check our research center's shelves to see if we have a copy there in what is basically our Victorian Life section.

Some of you may enjoy this about the Stratton wedding: http://www.mrlincolnswhitehouse.org/the-...tom-thumb/ and also this: https://www.nytimes.com/1863/02/11/archi...l-tom.html

Sorry folks, but Donna Mc has gone and gotten me interested in Victorian mourning customs once again. Thought you might find this snippet interesting about types of fabrics and when to wear them during mourning:

'[A widow] would wear deep mourning for at least one year, consisting of black clothes made from a non-reflective fabric such as bombazine ... Once a widow had completed her first year, she dressed in 'secondary mourning'. This had a less rigorous dress code, and white collars and cuffs ... were permitted. After nine months came 'ordinary mourning', a three month stretch during which women were permitted to wear shiny fabrics such as silk and velvet ... Finally a widow entered the six months of 'half-mourning', when muted colours such as grey, purple and lilac were permissible.'

Just an FYI that it appears that Mary Surratt remained in mourning throughout the period of 1862 to her own demise. She was dressed in bombazine when the "fair, fat, and forty" photograph was taken (probably shortly before the assassination) and appears to still be in that dress or a similar one at the time of her execution.

I forgot to cut and paste the source for the above quote, but it was from an English museum that specializes in mourning customs and memorabilia. It also brought back memories of learning about mourning food.

Years ago, we set our family dining table with ham, raisin pies, and other appropriate mourning food for the post-funeral guests. I'll try to find a reference to something that I found unusual -- mourning (or funeral) biscuits, which were actually wrapped in commemorative paper, sometimes even carried in the funeral procession, and then distributed to both those who returned to the home reception as well as those who did not. Sort of like taking home a piece of wedding cake... Go here for more info: http://modernloss.com/food-death/ I would love to know if any of this ritual was practiced at the burial of Lincoln.

P.S. Also google tear bottles. Most are beautiful. Did Mary Lincoln have one or several with all the losses she went through?

And finally, I depart with this most unusual tribute by a widow to her deceased husband: http://strangeco.blogspot.com/2014/08/ne...ay_13.html

[Donna McCreary]

(04-02-2018 06:16 PM)L Verge Wrote:  

(04-01-2018 01:49 PM)L Verge Wrote:  

(04-01-2018 11:17 AM)Donna McCreary Wrote:  

(04-01-2018 09:38 AM)L Verge Wrote:  

(03-31-2018 06:14 PM)Donna McCreary Wrote:  When relaxing, Mary, like other women in the Victorian era, wore a wrapper. Day dresses were worn to church, shopping, visiting hospitals, and several other occasions.

All of Mary's clothing was not black, nor is she wearing mourning attire in all of her photographs. Actually, she is wearing mourning attire in only three or four of them. Other colors she wore included magenta, green and white plaid, white, steel, pink, blue and many others.

I do not wish to appear to be promoting my books, but there is not a better study of Mary Lincoln's clothing than FASHIONABLE FIRST LADY: The Victorian Wardrobe of Mary Lincoln. It was used by the costume director of Steven Spielberg's movie LINCOLN, and has been used by many others trying to recreate Mary's clothing.

Donna - Am I correct that she spent most of her time in mourning garb after 1862? I thought that was what Anita was referring to. Of course, she would have worn colorful dresses during the early part of her life and until tragedy struck with her children and husband.

About one year after Willie's death in 1862, Mary hosted a reception for Charles Sherwood Stratton (General Tom Thumb) and his new bride Lavinia Warren. Mary wore pink. She may worn several colors associated with mourning - such as purple, black, and gray - however, her dress style was not mourning. Mary wore purple velvet - velvet is not a mourning fabric because of its sheen. Black clothing was considered appropriate business attire for men and women. So, when Mary went to the Senate chambers to listen to debate, she sometimes wore black. One newspaper recorded on one particular day Mary wore a black dress trimmed with ermine -- again -- not mourning attire.

A couple of months prior to Lincoln's death, Mary ordered quite a bit of mourning attire. Some historians have taken this to mean that she was still in mourning for Willie. Some think it was because she had a premonition that Lincoln would die. What happened was that she was thrust back into mourning. Her brother Levi died in October 1864, and her uncle, Dr. John Todd, died in January 1865. This is why Mary wore black and white to the theatre in April. She was mourning her brother and uncle.

Thanks for the clarifications, Donna Mc. Many long years ago, when Surratt House first started doing their popular Victorian mourning exhibit (before your book came out), we researched Mary Lincoln in mourning. I do not recall any sources at that time that indicated she broke mourning after Willie's death - such as during the Stratton reception. Several sources that I see today also state that she remained in mourning for Willie for 2-3 years, not emerging until January of 1865. Is this just a lack of research on the part of other authors? As much as Mary enjoyed fine clothes, I can certainly see her "cheating" on strict society's rules.

We used to sell your book in our gift shop, but I think we've sold out. I'm at home and not able to check our research center's shelves to see if we have a copy there in what is basically our Victorian Life section.

Some of you may enjoy this about the Stratton wedding: http://www.mrlincolnswhitehouse.org/the-...tom-thumb/ and also this: https://www.nytimes.com/1863/02/11/archi...l-tom.html

Sorry folks, but Donna Mc has gone and gotten me interested in Victorian mourning customs once again. Thought you might find this snippet interesting about types of fabrics and when to wear them during mourning:

'[A widow] would wear deep mourning for at least one year, consisting of black clothes made from a non-reflective fabric such as bombazine ... Once a widow had completed her first year, she dressed in 'secondary mourning'. This had a less rigorous dress code, and white collars and cuffs ... were permitted. After nine months came 'ordinary mourning', a three month stretch during which women were permitted to wear shiny fabrics such as silk and velvet ... Finally a widow entered the six months of 'half-mourning', when muted colours such as grey, purple and lilac were permissible.'

Just an FYI that it appears that Mary Surratt remained in mourning throughout the period of 1862 to her own demise. She was dressed in bombazine when the "fair, fat, and forty" photograph was taken (probably shortly before the assassination) and appears to still be in that dress or a similar one at the time of her execution.

I forgot to cut and paste the source for the above quote, but it was from an English museum that specializes in mourning customs and memorabilia. It also brought back memories of learning about mourning food.

Years ago, we set our family dining table with ham, raisin pies, and other appropriate mourning food for the post-funeral guests. I'll try to find a reference to something that I found unusual -- mourning (or funeral) biscuits, which were actually wrapped in commemorative paper, sometimes even carried in the funeral procession, and then distributed to both those who returned to the home reception as well as those who did not. Sort of like taking home a piece of wedding cake... Go here for more info: http://modernloss.com/food-death/ I would love to know if any of this ritual was practiced at the burial of Lincoln.

P.S. Also google tear bottles. Most are beautiful. Did Mary Lincoln have one or several with all the losses she went through?

And finally, I depart with this most unusual tribute by a widow to her deceased husband: http://strangeco.blogspot.com/2014/08/ne...ay_13.html

Oh my Laurie - that is indeed an unusual tribute!

Your post forced me to look at the script for my lecture about mourning customs.

Here are a few more thoughts on mourning attire:

As previously mentioned, women in the first stage of mourning could not wear any fabric with a sheen. The color became known as "dead black." Crepe was often used to make the weeping veil, which when in public, a lady was expected to wear down over her face. This was an unspoken request for privacy. If a woman's veil was down, no one could speak to her, and she was to speak to no one. To make matters worse, it is believed that crepe was made by soaking the fabric in formaldehyde. With such a toxic chemical worn so close to the face, one wonders about the meaning behind "getting the vapors."

A black over-petticoat may have been worn, and black ribbon was often used to trim drawers, chemises and under-petticoats in order to show that a woman’s grief ‘had penetrated to the innermost sanctuaries.”

Regarding funeral food - it is my understanding that each culture brought their own rituals to America, and Americans sort of adapted many of them.
In Cumberland, each mourner took home a piece of cake that had been wrapped in white paper.
In Yorkshire, a paper bag of biscuits with a card bearing the name of the deceased was sent to friends.
Dutch colonies made funeral cakes that were a biscuit with caraway seeds and molasses. Each biscuit was marked with the initial of the deceased. Often these were not eaten, but saved as mementos.
The Amish served Raisin pie, which was called funeral pie.
The British would hold a funeral tea, and serve ham, condiments, pickles, and jams.
The Irish celebrated with a wake. Mourners who came to pay their respects were served a full meal of ham, cabbage, potatoes, cakes, and other family favorites. At the wake, mourners were given whiskey, snuff, and tobacco in exchange for prayers and toasts for the dead. To believe the deceased was truly in a better place was a reason to celebrate life. This custom was called ‘waking the dead.’

I have no idea if any of these customs were observed at Lincoln's funeral. Maybe someone else will know.

I googled "tear bottles." Okay --- now, I want one. They are beautiful!

[Susan Higginbotham]

"Tear bottles" are nothing more than perfume bottles. Some clever antique dealer got the notion of describing them as "tear bottles" in order to make them more marketable. Here's a good article that debunks the myth:

https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/te...yth-bottle

"Tear bottles" and the equally fictitious story that the Victorians used posing stands to prop up corpses in order to make them look "lifelike" for photographs (they actually used the stands to help living people hold still) have pretty much taken over the Internet, unfortunately.

[Donna McCreary]

(04-02-2018 09:32 PM)Susan Higginbotham Wrote:  "Tear bottles" are nothing more than perfume bottles. Some clever antique dealer got the notion of describing them as "tear bottles" in order to make them more marketable. Here's a good article that debunks the myth:

https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/te...yth-bottle

"Tear bottles" and the equally fictitious story that the Victorians used posing stands to prop up corpses in order to make them look "lifelike" for photographs (they actually used the stands to help living people hold still) have pretty much taken over the Internet, unfortunately.

Susan, thank you for the post. The ones in the link you shared look very different from the ones I saw on a different site. Those were more colorful. Now that I know they are perfume bottles, I really want one! I collect perfume bottles.

[L Verge]

(04-02-2018 11:34 PM)Donna McCreary Wrote:  

(04-02-2018 09:32 PM)Susan Higginbotham Wrote:  "Tear bottles" are nothing more than perfume bottles. Some clever antique dealer got the notion of describing them as "tear bottles" in order to make them more marketable. Here's a good article that debunks the myth:

https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/te...yth-bottle

"Tear bottles" and the equally fictitious story that the Victorians used posing stands to prop up corpses in order to make them look "lifelike" for photographs (they actually used the stands to help living people hold still) have pretty much taken over the Internet, unfortunately.

Susan, thank you for the post. The ones in the link you shared look very different from the ones I saw on a different site. Those were more colorful. Now that I know they are perfume bottles, I really want one! I collect perfume bottles.

I have met a number of ladies who collect funeral paraphernalia and are quite well-read on the topic, and you will have a hard time convincing them that these are not tear catcher bottles. We also found quite a few references to them as far back as the 1980s while researching our exhibit. Some of my favorites look more like miniature bottles and are ornamented with silver and gold metal and come with their own little stand.

I own several that resemble the vial types, but they were sold to me as perfume bottles and also smelling salts bottles. One is actually curved and was said to have been designed to tuck into the bodice of one's ball gown for a quick whiff of the salts when becoming lightheaded in crowded rooms.

While our gents are sitting and shaking their heads at us, I should warn everyone that the subject of funeral/death practices of lore is really interesting -- and can become addictive.

---

(04-02-2018 09:20 PM)Donna McCreary Wrote:  

(04-02-2018 06:16 PM)L Verge Wrote:  

(04-01-2018 01:49 PM)L Verge Wrote:  

(04-01-2018 11:17 AM)Donna McCreary Wrote:  

(04-01-2018 09:38 AM)L Verge Wrote:  Donna - Am I correct that she spent most of her time in mourning garb after 1862? I thought that was what Anita was referring to. Of course, she would have worn colorful dresses during the early part of her life and until tragedy struck with her children and husband.

About one year after Willie's death in 1862, Mary hosted a reception for Charles Sherwood Stratton (General Tom Thumb) and his new bride Lavinia Warren. Mary wore pink. She may worn several colors associated with mourning - such as purple, black, and gray - however, her dress style was not mourning. Mary wore purple velvet - velvet is not a mourning fabric because of its sheen. Black clothing was considered appropriate business attire for men and women. So, when Mary went to the Senate chambers to listen to debate, she sometimes wore black. One newspaper recorded on one particular day Mary wore a black dress trimmed with ermine -- again -- not mourning attire.

A couple of months prior to Lincoln's death, Mary ordered quite a bit of mourning attire. Some historians have taken this to mean that she was still in mourning for Willie. Some think it was because she had a premonition that Lincoln would die. What happened was that she was thrust back into mourning. Her brother Levi died in October 1864, and her uncle, Dr. John Todd, died in January 1865. This is why Mary wore black and white to the theatre in April. She was mourning her brother and uncle.

Thanks for the clarifications, Donna Mc. Many long years ago, when Surratt House first started doing their popular Victorian mourning exhibit (before your book came out), we researched Mary Lincoln in mourning. I do not recall any sources at that time that indicated she broke mourning after Willie's death - such as during the Stratton reception. Several sources that I see today also state that she remained in mourning for Willie for 2-3 years, not emerging until January of 1865. Is this just a lack of research on the part of other authors? As much as Mary enjoyed fine clothes, I can certainly see her "cheating" on strict society's rules.

We used to sell your book in our gift shop, but I think we've sold out. I'm at home and not able to check our research center's shelves to see if we have a copy there in what is basically our Victorian Life section.

Some of you may enjoy this about the Stratton wedding: http://www.mrlincolnswhitehouse.org/the-...tom-thumb/ and also this: https://www.nytimes.com/1863/02/11/archi...l-tom.html

Sorry folks, but Donna Mc has gone and gotten me interested in Victorian mourning customs once again. Thought you might find this snippet interesting about types of fabrics and when to wear them during mourning:

'[A widow] would wear deep mourning for at least one year, consisting of black clothes made from a non-reflective fabric such as bombazine ... Once a widow had completed her first year, she dressed in 'secondary mourning'. This had a less rigorous dress code, and white collars and cuffs ... were permitted. After nine months came 'ordinary mourning', a three month stretch during which women were permitted to wear shiny fabrics such as silk and velvet ... Finally a widow entered the six months of 'half-mourning', when muted colours such as grey, purple and lilac were permissible.'

Just an FYI that it appears that Mary Surratt remained in mourning throughout the period of 1862 to her own demise. She was dressed in bombazine when the "fair, fat, and forty" photograph was taken (probably shortly before the assassination) and appears to still be in that dress or a similar one at the time of her execution.

I forgot to cut and paste the source for the above quote, but it was from an English museum that specializes in mourning customs and memorabilia. It also brought back memories of learning about mourning food.

Years ago, we set our family dining table with ham, raisin pies, and other appropriate mourning food for the post-funeral guests. I'll try to find a reference to something that I found unusual -- mourning (or funeral) biscuits, which were actually wrapped in commemorative paper, sometimes even carried in the funeral procession, and then distributed to both those who returned to the home reception as well as those who did not. Sort of like taking home a piece of wedding cake... Go here for more info: http://modernloss.com/food-death/ I would love to know if any of this ritual was practiced at the burial of Lincoln.

P.S. Also google tear bottles. Most are beautiful. Did Mary Lincoln have one or several with all the losses she went through?

And finally, I depart with this most unusual tribute by a widow to her deceased husband: http://strangeco.blogspot.com/2014/08/ne...ay_13.html

Oh my Laurie - that is indeed an unusual tribute!

Your post forced me to look at the script for my lecture about mourning customs.

Here are a few more thoughts on mourning attire:

As previously mentioned, women in the first stage of mourning could not wear any fabric with a sheen. The color became known as "dead black." Crepe was often used to make the weeping veil, which when in public, a lady was expected to wear down over her face. This was an unspoken request for privacy. If a woman's veil was down, no one could speak to her, and she was to speak to no one. To make matters worse, it is believed that crepe was made by soaking the fabric in formaldehyde. With such a toxic chemical worn so close to the face, one wonders about the meaning behind "getting the vapors."

A black over-petticoat may have been worn, and black ribbon was often used to trim drawers, chemises and under-petticoats in order to show that a woman’s grief ‘had penetrated to the innermost sanctuaries.”

Regarding funeral food - it is my understanding that each culture brought their own rituals to America, and Americans sort of adapted many of them.
In Cumberland, each mourner took home a piece of cake that had been wrapped in white paper.
In Yorkshire, a paper bag of biscuits with a card bearing the name of the deceased was sent to friends.
Dutch colonies made funeral cakes that were a biscuit with caraway seeds and molasses. Each biscuit was marked with the initial of the deceased. Often these were not eaten, but saved as mementos.
The Amish served Raisin pie, which was called funeral pie.
The British would hold a funeral tea, and serve ham, condiments, pickles, and jams.
The Irish celebrated with a wake. Mourners who came to pay their respects were served a full meal of ham, cabbage, potatoes, cakes, and other family favorites. At the wake, mourners were given whiskey, snuff, and tobacco in exchange for prayers and toasts for the dead. To believe the deceased was truly in a better place was a reason to celebrate life. This custom was called ‘waking the dead.’

I have no idea if any of these customs were observed at Lincoln's funeral. Maybe someone else will know.

I googled "tear bottles." Okay --- now, I want one. They are beautiful!

Add funeral candy to the list also. I found reference to this being a Swedish custom. The wrappers are designed in black with death motifs, etc. One made reference to the paper even having tassels on the ends -- the length of which was determined by the social stature of the deceased.

[Susan Higginbotham]

Until someone shows me some 19th-century references to use of tear bottles, such as being mentioned in advertisements for mourning goods or in letters and diaries, or shown in illustrations, I'm going to have to remain a skeptic. The only Victorian references I've ever seen are to the tear bottles supposedly used in ancient Egypt. Someone else did a search and came up with only these results:

http://hauntedohiobooks.com/news/13531/