Thank you, Gene!

The 1880 census shows that Josephine Loftin (I'm assuming that's the sister John is referring to) was living with her husband in North Carolina. He died in 1882, leaving her as his administrator--in her petition for letters of administration, she described herself as a resident of Lenoir County, NC. Of course, that doesn't preclude her visiting her sister Sarah in 1880 or any other time. Those of us living in North Carolina have to get out now and then.

I grew up in a different era, so I have a different concept of how names are put on tombstones. A single name, is the name of the person buried there and the name shown is the name they were known by at the time of their death.

Jacob's wife "Anne E" is on another stone somewhere, but '"Jacob" should not be on her stone.

Sarah A. Spencer's name is on her grave in Poughkeepsie, and there is no other name on it.

If Sarah was buried with Long, it would have been proper to include her name - Nettie G. Long, on that stone. Since she is not buried there, there is no justification to add her "later", but more popular name to that stone. Another thought, one not very nice, Jacob Long spent part of his life avoiding the use of her name in conjunction with his. Now someone has chosen to ignore his wishes. Should we go through the Census Records, and add her name at his listing? (Just laugh at that and let it go.)

I think it proper for genealogists and historians to show important relationships in their talks or in their writings, to clarify identities, but not in this situation.

No one's putting anyone's name on anyone else's stone or rewriting history. Find-A-Grave is simply a way of recording who is buried where, and their relationships with others. Many people find that information of value; if you don't, so be it. I see no point in whitewashing Sarah's second marriage from history just because the couple may not have stayed together, no more than I see the point of ignoring Sarah's first marriage, or Louis Weichmann's failed marriage, or any of the many other failed marriages in history. (Incidentally, Jacob doesn't have an individual stone; he's buried in a family plot.)

You can say "you," by the way, instead of "someone," if you're referring to me. I don't think our eras are that far divided for that courtesy to be common to both.

I have to say that I am at a complete loss as to how I have offended you. Both Sarah and Jacob are figures of historical interest; she for her role in the events of 1865, he for his role in New York political history. All of the information I have posted about them, including the fact of their marriage, is from public records. At no time have I implied, here or anywhere else, that they were buried together or misrepresented the inscriptions on Sarah's or anyone else's tombstone. (I have, however, noted, as you have yourself, that the birth year on Sarah's tombstone is incorrect, so as not to mislead others into thinking that she was a child at the time of her first two marriages.) As I find it disheartening to have aspersions cast upon my integrity when I have simply tried to contribute to our body of knowledge about the mysterious Mrs. Slater, I will not be posting further about her on this forum.

(03-31-2016 06:59 PM)Susan Higginbotham Wrote:  No one's putting anyone's name on anyone else's stone or rewriting history. Find-A-Grave is simply a way of recording who is buried where, and their relationships with others. Many people find that information of value; if you don't, so be it. I see no point in whitewashing Sarah's second marriage from history just because the couple may not have stayed together, no more than I see the point of ignoring Sarah's first marriage, or Louis Weichmann's failed marriage, or any of the many other failed marriages in history. (Incidentally, Jacob doesn't have an individual stone; he's buried in a family plot.)

You can say "you," by the way, instead of "someone," if you're referring to me. I don't think our eras are that far divided for that courtesy to be common to both.

I have to say that I am at a complete loss as to how I have offended you. Both Sarah and Jacob are figures of historical interest; she for her role in the events of 1865, he for his role in New York political history. All of the information I have posted about them, including the fact of their marriage, is from public records. At no time have I implied, here or anywhere else, that they were buried together or misrepresented the inscriptions on Sarah's or anyone else's tombstone. (I have, however, noted, as you have yourself, that the birth year on Sarah's tombstone is incorrect, so as not to mislead others into thinking that she was a child at the time of her first two marriages.) As I find it disheartening to have aspersions cast upon my integrity when I have simply tried to contribute to our body of knowledge about the mysterious Mrs. Slater, I will not be posting further about her on this forum.

Susan.I apologize that I offended you. That was never my intent. I learned how to record this info differently, than you did. To me it is very different. I accept your posts without question - they are Right! just different. You have too much good stuff to share, please do your posts exactly as you know how. JOHN

I am glad you two agree this IS the Sarah Slater - Confederate courier. With all the name changes, false birth dates on headstones, I was not sure if this was another person of similar name that lived at the same time, and that this was a good theory/wishful thinking in the identification process.

Knowing that you both agree settles the matter for me.

Wow!

No worries--wish I did have something to share at the moment!

Roger's site has grown so much it's easy to forget previous treads - even recent ones.

To look at more of Susan's and SSlater (John) research go to thread
"Sarah Slater's Death Certificate"
http://rogerjnorton.com/LincolnDiscussio...-2733.html

There is no doubt in my mind that Sarah married Jacob M. Long, however, there is no record that they ever cohabitated. Their names were never show together, except on the Marriage Certificate. Nothing in the Census, the Voter records, the city directories, his Obit, nothing ever mentioned Sarah. They apparently remained friends-, at least they were in contact.
Sarah's family - her brothers, mother, sisters, all lived in NYC at one time or another. Apparently Sarah became a "Tailoress", as did sister Emily (She ran a boarding house, too). From newspaper tidbits, Sarah and her sister Josephine traveled together to visit friends, and eventually moved to Poughkeepsie together. ("J.E." was identified as the Husband (OOPS!))
That strange marriage, evidently had a purpose, but I don't see it. If anything, it had to be her haven, until the last of the Amnesty Proclamations were issued and she was no longer subject to prosecution. She kept the name, until she remarried, Sometimes using "Slater" for reasons I don't know. Maybe "Long" had a reputation as a "meanie". (That was true of most "Aldermen" in NY.)
Some day I will give up on this research, but not yet.