Mary Lincoln's presence at Abraham's death-bed

[Wild Bill]

Gene, I was told the same when my mother died.

[RJNorton]

I received a messge from Caroline W. Van Deusen, and she asked if I would post the following information:

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"Please pass along that the newest issue of White House History by White House Historical Association features Diary of Elizabeth Dixon written during a Residence in years 1846-1848. Her diary is unique for the pin’s head details it provides of everyday life in the American capital at that time.

Elizabeth Dixon, the friend of Mary Lincoln and who witnessed Lincoln's death."

Caroline W. Van Deusen
Project Archivist
E-Archives

[Steve Holley]

This is my first post...so many thanks to those who have posted before me and provided many hours of great reading into arguably the most significant event in American History.
Concerning the forced absence of Mary Todd Lincoln from the room where her husband lay dying, I think it is important to remember that Edwin Stanton, while staying with the dying President, was also consumed with conducting an investigation involving the attack on the leadership of the United States government.
While at the Petersen House he was attempting to both gain information as to the assassination conspiracy, hasten the capture of those involved, and provide protection for the leadership of the government. Therefore, the emotional outbursts of Mary Todd Lincoln would be a difficult frustration for Stanton and would have added to the tension of an already difficult 9 1/2 hours. From my perspective, he did his best.. and one might say he was the first Alexander Haig in American history...he was "in charge," although not at the White House.

[L Verge]

Welcome to the forum, Steve, and thank you for reminding us of the heavy burden that Mr. Stanton bore that night and in the days to follow. While my sympathies are with Mrs. Lincoln, I also know that very few people - male or female - can bear the sounds of hysteria.

[LincolnMan]

Good post Steve. Welcome!

[Dixon-Welling]

[quote='RJNorton' pid='20845' dateline='1372324345']
Mary's last visit to her husband's bedside was apparently about 20 minutes before he passed. Mary's friend, Elizabeth Lord Cogswell Dixon, wife of Senator James Dixon, was with her. On May 1 Mrs. Dixon described the scene in a letter to her sister:

"At that hour, just as the day was struggling with the dim candles in the room, we went in again. Mrs. Lincoln must have noticed a change for the moment she looked at him, she fainted and fell upon the floor. I caught her in my arms and held her to the window which was open, the rain falling heavily.

"She again seated herself by the President, kissing him and calling him every endearing name, the surgeons counting every pulsation and noting every breath gradually growing less and less. Then they asked her to go into the adjoining room, and in twenty minutes came in and said, 'It is all over! The President is no more!'"


Dr. Leale described the final visit this way:

"During the night Mrs. Lincoln came frequently from the adjoining room accompanied by a lady friend. At one time Mrs. Lincoln exclaimed, sobbing bitterly: "Oh! that my little Taddy might see his father before he died!" This was decided not advisable. As Mrs. Lincoln sat on a chair by the side of the bed with her face to her husband's his breathing became very stertorous and the loud, unnatural noise frightened her in her exhausted, agonized condition. She sprang up suddenly with a piercing cry and fell fainting to the floor. Secretary Stanton hearing her cry came in from the adjoining room and with raised arms called out loudly: "Take that woman out and do not let her in again." Mrs. Lincoln was helped up kindly and assisted in a fainting condition from the room. Secretary Stanton's order was obeyed and Mrs. Lincoln did not see her husband again before he died."

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When I visited Petersen House in 2005, what struck me was that the front parlor, and where Mary was when not with her husband, was in "ear-shot" of Secretary Stanton taking testimonies by those who witnessed the murder. With no partition, the witness’s recollections were heard over and over again by Mary Lincoln.

[RJNorton]

Good point, Caroline. That is so sad to think about. I wonder if people like Stanton or Tanner, out of courtesy, told the witnesses to keep their voices down.

[L Verge]

Caroline has made an excellent point, and as those of you who have visited Petersen House know, the double parlor is not very large. With the interrogations going on and the amount of people coming and going right past her, it is a wonder that she did not "shut down" completely. And I would bet that Stanton and crew were not the least bit worried about noise - unless they thought it was disturbing the dying President.

[LincolnMan]

As our group looked on at the Lincoln marker inside the tomb, my thoughts went to Mary-whose body is placed in the wall opposite where Lincoln is laid to rest. Still seperated, I thought, -even in death! At least she is next to three of her children.

[Eva Elisabeth]

In 1922, Robert wrote a letter to a friend, Nicolas Murray Butler, about the Lincoln tomb at Oak Ridge Cemetery:"...it is arranged that my wife and myself shall be entombed there".
Was it really Mary Harlan's sole decision that he was (they were) finally buried in Arlington? If it had been - would Robert have agreed? Or did Robert indicate during lifetime he had changed his mind? And why Arlington?

[LincolnMan]

Eva: that is an interesting bit of history. Ive always thought it odd that Robert wasnt buried in the Lincoln tomb. Maybe that's where he actually wanted to be!

[RJNorton]

(10-13-2013 02:00 PM)Eva Elisabeth Wrote:  In 1922, Robert wrote a letter to a friend, Nicolas Murray Butler, about the Lincoln tomb at Oak Ridge Cemetery:"...it is arranged that my wife and myself shall be entombed there".
Was it really Mary Harlan's sole decision that he was (they were) finally buried in Arlington? If it had been - would Robert have agreed? Or did Robert indicate during lifetime he had changed his mind? And why Arlington?

Good question, Eva. I hope Donna or Gerald will chime in here. After many years of mystery, the reasons why Robert was buried in Arlington rather than the Lincoln Tomb were revealed in an excellent article in the Summer 1998 edition of Lincoln Lore. Using a previously unknown letter held in a private collection as their source, forum members Gerald D. Swick and Donna McCreary revealed that it was Mary Harlan Lincoln's sole decision to have Robert interred at Arlington. In a letter to Katherine Helm, Robert's cousin, Mary revealed that she felt Robert "was a personage, made his own history, independently (underlined 5 times) of his great father, and should have his own place 'in the sun'!" In the words of Donna and Gerald, Mary therefore made the decision "to give her husband the honor she felt he deserved."

Mary Harlan Lincoln's Letter to Katherine Helm

SOURCE OF IMAGE: Summer 1998 edition of Lincoln Lore

[LincolnMan]

Great information Roger! Still, I wonder what Robert's wishes were. This had to be discussed between the two-one would think.

[Eva Elisabeth]

Somehow this leads me to the question what - if anything at all - A. Lincoln might have had expected from Robert (in general). When Robert wanted to go to Harvard, A.L. said Robert would learn more than he had done, but would "never have so good a time". But I wonder - how would A. L. have reacted had Robert e.g. been less ambitious or had done something less "intellectual" or prestigious? (To take it to the top: farming e.g.)

[L Verge]

One would hope that Mr. Lincoln was compassionate enough to want his son to be happy in whatever career he chose. I wonder if, at times, Lincoln himself regretted the life's path that he chose.