Mary's Reputation

[L Verge]

I once asked this at a conference (I think at Hildene) and got no response: Do you think that Mary Harlan Lincoln came to see her mother-in-law as a disgrace and a detriment to their social standing?

[Donna McCreary]

Laurie, that is an excellent question, and I would enjoy reading how others respond to it. I am not as well schooled on the subject of Mary Harlan as I should be. However, I offer this quote from a letter written by Mary Harlan Lincoln to Katherine Helm in 1924:

"When you read the enclosed articles about the re-arrangement of portraits of "First Ladies" at the White House, you will agree with me, that it is quite important that we should be on hand Early, with the dear Aunt Mary portrait, so that our First Lady will be properly cared for -- We must see to it that the portrait has the prominent position it deserves, both on accounts of the illustrious lady, and the artist."

and this one, from a letter written in 1925:

"I have not read the article in Harpers about "Aunt Mary" yet. I will wait until I can have you to talk it over with. Mr. Towers did not (like) the tone of it at all, and hopes to have justice done her, while we are here to see to it."

The portrait mentioned in the letter is the one which currently hangs in the Lincoln bedroom. It was painted by Katherine Helm and was a gift to the White House by the Robert Lincoln family. No matter how Robert and his wife felt about his mother during her lifetime, by the last years of theirs, they were doing everything possible to create a positive image and legacy for her.

[Laurie Verge]

Thanks, Donna. That makes me feel a little bit better about the daughter-in-law/mother-in-law arrangement (at least after Mary Lincoln's death). The little bit that I have read seems to indicate that the two Marys got along well in the beginning. I've just wondered if MTL's problems frustrated MHL and also caused her to worry about the effect that the pressure was having on Robert.

[Donna McCreary]

We also have to consider the effect the pressure had on Mary H. Lincoln. In 1875, she was expecting her third child and was dealing with her own issues. I am not sure, but I think this is one of the years she spend a great deal of time in Iowa visiting with her family. It was a stressful year for all of the Lincolns.

[L Verge]

A point that I tried to make at that conference in Hildene was that men - especially in earlier centuries - were not raised to be nurturers and caregivers. That was the role set for women.

Therefore, Robert had no instinct or training as to what to do and chose the route that would take his mother out of the public spotlight and out of his hair. His wife was busy nurturing their children and being the perfect society wife in order to increase Robert's prestige. Unfortunately, their actions left people then and now questioning their motives.

Frankly, I'm not condemning them if that is the way it happened. They were following the dictates of society at their time. Many other families without financial means might have stuck Mary in an upstairs bedroom and locked the door.

I got sidetracked from completing Emerson's Giant in the Shadows. How does he handle the situation of Mary's hospitalization? Knowing Jason, and having heard him speak on several occasions, I suspect that he is sympathetic to Mr. and Mrs. Robert Todd Lincoln? I also suspect that, if a poll were conducted among average readers who are familiar with the insanity trial of Mrs. Lincoln, more men than women would side with Robert.

Some would say today that our society is reaping the effects of de-institutionalizing those in need of psychological help. It's a field of medicine that has a long way to go in order to properly serve and heal - and reduce the stigma that society still places on the ill.

[Donna McCreary]

Laurie, I am still working my way through Jason's book as well. He does conclude that Robert was the perfect Victorian man in all other lectures and writings. There is much truth in your statement about Robert and Mary H. Lincoln -- they were trying to conduct themselves according to their 'station' in life.
I do know that Mary H. and the children spent a great amount of time in Iowa. Some think this indicates trouble in the Lincoln marriage; others believe it shows that Mary H. found herself in a sandwich generation - tending to the needs of children and parents. I do not know enough about the Harlans to know their medical needs during the 1870's. What ever family needs Mary H. Lincoln faced, it was her duty to tend to these issues as they fell into the 'woman's sphere.'

[Houmes]

"I do know that Mary H. and the children spent a great amount of time in Iowa. Some think this indicates trouble in the Lincoln marriage; others believe it shows that Mary H. found herself in a sandwich generation - tending to the needs of children and parents. I do not know enough about the Harlans to know their medical needs during the 1870's. What ever family needs Mary H. Lincoln faced, it was her duty to tend to these issues as they fell into the 'woman's sphere.'"

The Harlan family members were socially prominent and civic leaders in Mount Pleasant, Iowa. During the Civil War, both of Mary Harlan Lincoln's parents were supportive of President Lincoln and the war. James Harlan was a U.S. Senator and helped fund one of the first staging areas in Iowa for training soldiers. Ann Eliza Harlan, upon hearing of casualties in the Battle of Shiloh, went there personally securing needed food, medicine, and clothing to aid the wounded. James led a vigorous life and died at his Iowa home in 1899. Ann Harlan had occasional illnesses and died in 1884 during a visit to a Virginia oceanside resort. Both Mary Harlan Lincoln and her husband spent many summers and had frequent visits to Mount Pleasant. The major Harlan family health issue in the 1870's was the death in 1876 of Mary's brother, William Harlan. He died in California (probably of tuberculosis) after living the previous three years in Colorado, where his parents had made trips to see him.

[L Verge]

Thanks, Blaine. I'm surprised at the brother living in Colorado with tuberculosis. I thought Arizona or New Mexico were the preferred treatment areas for drying out the lungs.

My great uncle, Joseph Riley Huntt (the baby that had the Huntts up for feeding about 1 am on April 15, 1865, as Booth and Herold rode past the house), inherited the tuberculosis trait that ran in his mother's family and spent time in Arizona in the early-1880s drying out his lungs. I have a great photo of him in Western rawhide and a sombrero.

He subsequently went on to study medicine and became a general practitioner and railroad doctor back in Maryland. I bet that Western garb never saw the light of day in Maryland.

[Bill Richter]

Colorado was the place to go in the late 1800s for TB. Witness John "Doc" Holiday who went there after his participation in the Earp Clanton Feud (Gunfight at the OK Corral) and died there in a sanitarium on the western slopes of the Rockies at Glenwood Springs.

[L Verge]

I guess I better brush up on my Doc Holliday and Wyatt Earp history. All I know about them is what I learned on TV in the 1950s and 60s. I suspect my main interest in the shows at that time, however, were the actors, who were so damned good looking!

[Bill Richter]

Laurie, you and my sister. She managed to get James Garner to hold her hand once and has never washed it since. . . .

[Deb@Library]

I am preparing a program on Mary Lincoln for a public library and have read many of the sources that have been cited throughout this discussion (which has been great, by the way). Have any of you read The Addiction of Mary Todd Lincoln by Beidler and, if so, what are your views about possible addiction given her history of migraines, mood swings, medicine for childbirth, physical pain and grief, etc.? I am trying to give a balanced accounting of the First Lady and, as we see, it's a challenge. Thanks for any insight at all.

[RJNorton]

Hi Debe and welcome to our forum. I will leave your question for the many experts we have here. The one thing I remember reading was that Mary may have been addicted to paregoric. I am not familiar with the book you mentioned.

[L Verge]

I was not familiar with that book on Mary's addictions either, but I did do a search and read excerpts from it. It certainly sounds very interesting and is written from the perspective of an author whose background is in addictive rehabilitation.

That said, I think the author may be reaching a tad too far in order to make a 21st-century case out of 19th-century habits. I certainly agree that opium and various derivatives thereof were quite prevalent during the Lincolns' era. I also suspect that Mary did receive certain medications with addictive tendencies. However, I also suspect that, if indeed this is true, it would have occurred in the years after her husband's death, when she had little to hold her together.

Some questions I might have are: Would her motherly instincts to care for Tad during his illness have "allowed" her to succumb to addiction? Would her sister and brother-in-law have allowed her to be an addicted user while under their roof? Wouldn't some loose-lipped druggist or supplier somewhere have spilled the beans? Wouldn't the medical evidence have shown up at least when she was committed to Batavia?

[Donna McCreary]

(12-31-2012 12:35 PM)william l. richter Wrote:  Laurie, you and my sister. She managed to get James Garner to hold her hand once and has never washed it since. . . .

Your sister is a lucky woman. In my house, James Garner is known as "Mister pure sex in shoe leather."
Many years ago, during an interview, he told how he thought he would try acting for five years. At the end of the five years, life was good, so he thought he would continue for another five years. At the end of those five years, life was still good. Soon, 25 years had gone by, and he realized he had a career. James Garner is the best. I think I'll go watch The Notebook now.

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(12-31-2012 02:27 PM)Deb@Library Wrote:  I am preparing a program on Mary Lincoln for a public library and have read many of the sources that have been cited throughout this discussion (which has been great, by the way). Have any of you read The Addiction of Mary Todd Lincoln by Beidler and, if so, what are your views about possible addiction given her history of migraines, mood swings, medicine for childbirth, physical pain and grief, etc.? I am trying to give a balanced accounting of the First Lady and, as we see, it's a challenge. Thanks for any insight at all.

I have read this book, and I do not like it. The author manages a drug rehab program and is trying to force history to fit her agenda. Did Mary Lincoln use medications prescribed by doctors? Yes. Are some of those medications now considered more hurtful than helpful? Yes. Was Mary Lincoln shooting herion? No.

The author's purposes appears to be that if Mary Lincoln, a famous, highly educated, socialite in history, could be addicted to drugs, then it is logical for any normal, modern person to become addicted. It may help the author in her work, but it does not add to historical reporting or understanding about Mary Lincoln.
The book is also written in a format which reminds me of a high school research paper. The chapters are divided into sections which all have the same headings. For example each chapter has sections titled: "How Did She Feel," "How Did She Behave" -- those may not be the exact headings. They are offered as examples. It has been awhile since I read the book.