The Women Lincoln Loved

[Gene C]

Written by William E Barton in 1927 (90 years ago)
368 pages, no footnotes or bibliography, written when many authors did not include them.

For its age, this is a pretty good book. 14 women are mentioned, with Mary Lincoln getting the most attention with over 150 pages.
Other women getting their own chapter, even though it may be only a few pages are: Lucy Hanks, Betsy Sparrow, Bathsheba Lincoln, Nancy Hanks, Sara Bush Lincoln, Sarah Lincoln Grigsby, The Johnson Girls (2 and a half pages), The Girl in the Covered Wagon, Katie Roby, Caroline Meeker, Polly Warnick, Ann Rutledge (only 20 pages), Mary Owens, and Mary Lincoln. I found the book a little slow with the chapters about Lucy Hanks and Bathsheba Lincoln, but it picks up pretty well after that.

The author was very much into Lincoln's paternity (he wrote a book entitled "The Paternity of Abraham Lincoln - an Essay on the Chastity of Nancy Hanks" a 390+ page book and is on Internet Archives) so he devotes a fair amount of space to grandmothers Lucy Hanks and Bathsheba Lincoln. Grandmother Lucy Hanks even has more written about her and her times than mother Nancy Hanks. It is questionable as to how much involvement the grandmothers had, if any, in the early life of Lincoln.

The Johnson Girls through Polly Warnick is mostly background information and involve Lincoln's years as a teenager and young man, although Kate Roby's chapter is longer than stepmother Sarah Bush Lincoln's. Considering the impact his step mother had on his life, I found that a bit surprising. . It does show Lincoln had a normal social life, found girls attractive, pretty much a normal teenager. Not much is known about these young ladies, I was surprised he came up with as much info as he did. I was hoping for more info on Ann Rutledge, but this book was written before that relationship seemed to gather much attention from serious historians.

Mary is not looked upon from a a critical viewpoint, he is very respectful of her. While acknowledging her personality and mood swings, he comments more about the critical views of the press and Washington elites (history does repeat itself). He does a good job of showing the incredible pressure she was under at this time. While Lincoln found relief from the pressure through humor, Mary seemed to find relief by shopping and spending money (which only added to the pressure later on)
I found his history of Mary following the assassination very interesting. Speaking of stress, this is from a letter dated Oct 10, 1867 to Elizabeth Keckley;
"My Dear Lizzie,
I am writing this morning with a broken heart, after a sleepless night of suffering....Pray for me that this cup of affliction may pass from me, or be sanctified to me. I weep whilist I am writing. I pray for death this morning. Only my darling Taddie prevents me from taking my life. I shall have to endure a round of newspaper abuse from the Republicans , because I dared venture to relieve a few of my wants...I am nearly loosing my reason."

Barton also wrote "The Soul of Abraham Lincoln, several biographies and books of a religious nature.

I got my copy from Amazon, in good condition, for less than $7. It is slightly different than the internet version (it may just be larger print)
https://www.amazon.com/Women-Lincoln-Lov...+E.+Barton

or read it on internet archives courtesy of the Digital Library of India
https://archive.org/stream/in.ernet.dli....5/mode/2up

[RJNorton]

(05-18-2017 08:35 PM)Gene C Wrote:  It does show Lincoln had a normal social life, found girls attractive, pretty much a normal teenager.

Herndon said, "Lincoln had terrible strong passions for women, could scarcely keep his hands off them, and yet he had honor and strong will, and these enabled him to put out the fires of his terrible passion."

I wonder what Tripp thought of Barton's book.

Gene, I noticed you did not mention a chapter devoted to Matilda Edwards in Barton's book. I wonder why Barton did not devote a chapter to her.

According to Orville Browning:

"Mr. Lincoln became very much attached to her (Miss Matilda Edwards) and finally fell desperately in love with her, and proposed to her, but she rejected him."

"In those times I was at Mr. Edwards' a great deal, and Miss Todd used to sit down with me, and talk to me sometimes till midnight, about this affair of hers with Mr. Lincoln. In these conversations I think it came out that Mr. Lincoln had perhaps on one occasion told Miss Todd that he loved Matilda Edwards, and no doubt his conscience was greatly worked up by the supposed pain and injury which this avowal had inflicted upon her."

[Gene C]

(05-19-2017 04:31 AM)RJNorton Wrote:  Gene, I noticed you did not mention a chapter devoted to Matilda Edwards in Barton's book. I wonder why Barton did not devote a chapter to her.

The section about Matilda is a 3 page section in the larger chapter on Mary. (p184 on the internet copy) There is also a section that makes more of a romance with Sarah Rickard than I remember reading in other places (p 196-200, The Landlady's Little Sister)

I can only guess why Barton did not devote a chapter to them, perhaps he felt the were side line romances in Lincoln's overall relationship with Mary. It appears that Lincoln may have been more interested in them than they were with him.

[Gene C]

These infatuations of Lincoln's after he had broken up with Mary Todd reminded me of a song.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQ3S46SwH4U

[RJNorton]

After Lincoln broke up with Mary Todd, Netty Hardin wrote her brother that she heard Lincoln "had two Cat fits and a Duck fit."

In The Women in Lincoln's Life Donald Winkler wrote that Matilda Edwards also had dated Stephen Douglas, but she rejected him because of his "bad morals." I wonder what he did to make her think that!

Lots going on in early Springfield!

[Eva Elisabeth]

(05-20-2017 04:24 AM)RJNorton Wrote:  In The Women in Lincoln's Life Donald Winkler wrote that Matilda Edwards also had dated Stephen Douglas, but she rejected him because of his "bad morals." I wonder what he did to make her think that!

I think I read (I think Laurie once posted) it referred to that he chewed tabacco and spit it on the carpet as obviously usual male practice in those days.

As for Abraham Lincoln I don't know whom/what do you believe, so I'd like to learn your opinion - was he a Casanova or not?

[RJNorton]

If you mean was he a "womanizer," then IMO the answer is no. I think he was attracted to women and, as a young man, had feelings for several different ones. Barton's book covers this aspect of his life. But I still think he preferred the company of men and was more comfortable and relaxed in that setting. In a mixed gender social affair I think he was most likely to try to split off with a group of men and exchange jokes and stories (or talk politics). As far as I know, Lincoln never told off-color jokes when women were present.

[Eva Elisabeth]

I was thinking of Herndon's claim you posted above. I feel like you which would make Herndon a yarn spinner (not to say a liar) "again". So - what do you think about Herndon's words? (Maybe I misunderstand Herndon?)

[Gene C]

I think Herndon is a bit of a yarn spinner.
Other than Ann Rutledge (based mainly upon Herndon's reports), Mary Todd is the only women to seriously return Lincoln's romantic interests.

It's interesting to image what Mary, an educated, high society, attractive, somewhat flirty extroverted personality saw in a humble, uneducated, homely, poor, somewhat socially awkward, back woods young man.

Since Mary and Abraham had a somewhat on again - off again romance, what did she see in him that most other single young ladies didn't, that kept her from moving on and forming a serious love interest with some one else?

[RJNorton]

(05-21-2017 06:48 AM)Gene C Wrote:  It's interesting to image what Mary, an educated, high society, attractive, somewhat flirty extroverted personality saw in a humble, uneducated, homely, poor, somewhat socially awkward, back woods young man.

Since Mary and Abraham had a somewhat on again - off again romance, what did she see in him that most other single young ladies didn't, that kept her from moving on and forming a serious love interest with some one else?

I just think she loved him (and he loved her the same) like nobody else she ever met. She loved him so much that the love trumped the knowledge that he "was deficient in those little links which make up the great chain of womans happiness." (quote from Mary Owens)

I cannot recall which one, but I think another woman (probably one of those in Barton's book) also said the same (or similar) thing about him that Mary Owens said.

But I think Mary loved him so much that she was willing to put up with his deficiencies. And she saw his potential. Mary also had weaknesses, but his love for her was so strong that he just dealt with those weaknesses in his own way.

Has anyone ever read that either of them ever considered leaving the other one? I have not.

[L Verge]

They say that opposites attract. Perhaps it is because they find traits in that partner that they wished they had?

Lincoln was likely a calming influence on the gregarious Mary. He wasn't a "chick magnet," so maybe she felt she wouldn't be competing for his attentions all the time (evidently this changed later). He was a proponent of the Whig policies, as was her childhood idol, Henry Clay. She enjoyed politics, so they could have common discussions. He enjoyed discussing things with her because of her fine education and mind - probably unlike the other ladies he had been around (could we call them air-heads?)

And finally - and every married man here will probably agree - Mary very likely thought that she could change him, mold him into something higher in life. Isn't that a woman's purpose in life? Yes, sarcasm intended. I think she was a pusher and accomplished her goal of being the wife of a President.