Wish I Had Said This...

[L Verge]

These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to a few 4-letter words.

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress." I had heard that it was John Wilkes who said this.
* * *
"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr
* * *
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill
* * *
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow
* * *
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." – William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
* * *
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas
* * *
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde
* * *
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one." – George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second .... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.
* * *
"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop
* * *
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright
* * *
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb
* * *
"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson
* * *
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating
* * *
"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyran
* * *
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West.
* * *
"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker
* * *
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain
* * *
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde
* * *
"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
* * *
"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder
* * *
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But I'm afraid this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx

[Gene C]

those are great! Thanks for sharing.

[LincolnMan]

Yes, those are wonderful- brought me many smiles this early morning. Thank you!

[BettyO]

Thanks a bunch! Not to sound TOO curmudgeonly, but many of these I can say about some people!!

[LincolnMan]

Really love the Groucho remark- which I've heard before. I frequently play clips of Marx Brothers movies in session to my patients for the sake of introducing them to the humor. My favorite is the cabin in the boat scene in which everyone enters the room. If you've never seen the clip I won't spoil what happens.

[Donna McCreary]

My favorite are the comments between George Bernard Shaw and Winston Churchill.

[L Verge]

(10-22-2015 12:18 PM)Donna McCreary Wrote:  My favorite are the comments between George Bernard Shaw and Winston Churchill.

Churchill was great! I'm always being teased about being the English teacher (which I never was - only minored in it), but he gave a great response to someone who criticized him for ending sentences with a preposition. He responded to the effect that that was a criticism "...up with which I will not put."