Happy Holidays!

[L Verge]

A friend just sent me this email on being politically correct at this time of year, so I'm passing it on so that you can remember the correct words to these songs in 2014:

O Holiday Tree

Have Yourself a Merry Little Day of Winter

Frosty the Snowperson

Chestnuts Roasting on a Safely Contained, Continuously Monitored, Eco-friendly Non-Toxic Outdoor Fire (for which I do have a permit)

Higher Power Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen

Grandma Allegedly Got Run Over by an Unidentified Non-Human Perpetrator

Deck the Halls with Boughs of Unendangered Foliage (if office policy permits)

Hark! The Herald Mythical Winged Creatures Sing

I Saw Mommy Greeting Santa Claus with a Purely Platonic Expression of Inoffensive Mutual Affection

I'll Be Home for a Short Period of Time in December

If you have other versions of other songs, please keep us updated so that we will offend no one (except tens of millions of Christians).