Are those stories about Mary abusive to Abraham overstated???

[Rob Wick]

First off, I respectfully disagree that Tarbell lacks relevance to this discussion. Given that Tarbell overshadowed even Herndon to become the greatest Lincoln biographer of her time and shortly thereafter (at least until Sandburg published Abraham Lincoln: The Prairie Years), she has a great deal to offer in regards to Mary. Indeed, if one looks at her papers, it's obvious that Tarbell focused on her in many instances. Don't forget it was Tarbell who generally proved there was no marriage ceremony planned, which remains a relevant question today.

More important, however, is that this question can never be fully or satisfactorily answered. Too much opinion (on either side) comes into play. It's quite possible that Mary was both loved by Lincoln and a shrewish, abusive woman. To insist that only one side is correct completely shoots apart exactly how history unfolds. Only the most inept historian expects that the story follows a linear narrative where every fact is well-known, completely provable, and beyond reproach. I don't fault Herndon or Burlingame for their interpretation, and I don't believe it's because they are men. I will wait to the end of my days for anyone to show evidence other than their personal opinion that this is true. I doubt I'll ever see it.

Best
Rob