Are those stories about Mary abusive to Abraham overstated???

[Mylye2222]

(01-05-2020 06:18 PM)Eva Elisabeth Wrote:  In a nutshell - I think that those interpretations come from men who have a very narrow idea of what their personal spouse has to be like and who cannot imagine other people have other views, needs and level of tolerance. I think the Lincolns were a good match to each other, neither was a spouse easy to live with, both were strong, striving personalities and had their challenging moments and features. Other than other windowed people around her (and nowadays!), Mary was faithful even beyond her husband's death and never remarried, not even had a serious affair. I think Abraham Lincoln was able and willing to deal with her weaker sides (as he once also expressed). And he was the only whose business it was, not Herndon's, Burlingame's & Co's. And a lot of female VIPs of our times share traits of Mary (shopping mania eg.) without being judged similarly hard.

Yes. I also have a feeling she was harshly judged by the Herndons and such, because she was a social code breaker. In those times a woman wouldn't dare to show a keen interest in public life. She also broke her family tradition by marrying a man of humble roots.
Both Lincoln's were unconventional and beyond their era in many ways. Lincoln was also a very liberal husband. He listened to her needs, but also to her mind.
When I'm talking about her mental state, it's not a finger pointing. It's wasn't her fault and her will to have those vulnerabilities. Just like A. L never chose to be melancholic with sometimes bouts of depression.