Robert Todd Lincoln --The vitals

[kerry]

 He once said as for enduring his wife’s tantrums: “If you knew how little harm it does me, and how much good it does her, you wouldn’t wonder that I am meek.”  (I think Crook is the source.)

And James Gourley, a Springfield neighbor, said: “Lincoln yielded to his wife — in fact, almost any other man, had he known the woman as I did, would have done the same thing.” (Just realize one could read "the woman" in a general way, too, but that would rather have been "the women", so I think he referred to Mary, not women in general. )

Yes, Crook said this, and so did about 15 other people. It was clearly a line Lincoln used all the time, probably because it was generally true.

That letter he wrote about the soap to the manufacturer around 1860, saying his wife had told him he didn't know anything about soap but that she had liked it, shows that he enjoyed cultivating the 'henpecked' persona and found it funny. That's not to say it wasn't at times very upsetting to him, but plenty of people love difficult people and have volatile relationships. Plenty of eccentric people with tempers have been very successful and popular. Also, when you read Lincoln Day by Day or the Lincoln Log, it's obvious they spent a lot of time together, considering how busy Lincoln was. They weren't avoiding each other.