Robert Todd Lincoln --The vitals

[Anita]

(02-04-2018 04:39 PM)kerry Wrote:  

(02-04-2018 01:20 PM)Eva Elisabeth Wrote:  A lot of people who knew her personality liked her. I think those people were able to understand she had a good, warm, loving and giving side (which I think she had) despite her tempers. Maybe Mr. Burlingame would have changed his mind had he met her in person. Maybe not, she possibly just doesn't match HIS idea of a "suitable" wife (for him or in his world view... same goes for Hendon). And none of the critics seem to acknowledge she was capable of "dealing" with Abraham Lincoln, his needs in life (career and resulting absence etc.), his moods etc, his "non-etiquette" behavior, his challenge seeking mind.
As for she (or he) and affairs, I think she was faithful as was he. However, until a "love letter" pops up that clearly proves anything else this will always remain a matter of belief gossip and speculation either way. Mary never re-married nor had an affair after his dead when it would have been legitimate, most likely accepted by many, and not unusual. My best guess is that she tried to "let her southern belle charme" help her getting out of debts (without going any further than entertaining conversation, charming small talk, the Scarlett O'Hara way).

There are a lot of people who will never like someone like Mary Lincoln - they care a lot about decorum, conformity, etc., and one instance of her temper would turn them off for good. They can't imagine Lincoln could ever have been happy with her. But many if not most very successful men are attracted to intelligent, outspoken women; we ignore this fact too much. Of the little that is known of Jefferson's wife, her daughter wrote she was "saucy" or something along those lines. I feel that a lot of people who write about Lincoln have completely missed his love of people who were fun and different, and his willingness to look beyond obvious flaws to see people's true character and talents.

Well stated Eva and Kerry. There is no substantiated proof Mary had an affair- the 5 Ws and an H
Who was involved?
What happened?
Where did it take place?
When did it take place?
Why did that happen?
How did it happen?

AND so much on the record documenting her complete love and devotion to Lincoln.

I'm not a fan of psychobiography. Here's a review from Amazon.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/0252020863?tag...nk22163-20

"Abraham Lincoln's excruciating, yet highly productive, midlife crisis; his woeful marriage to a dishonest woman who often embarrassed and sometimes physically abused him; his intense estrangement from a shiftless father; his streak of cruelty; his explosive temper; and his aversion to women are among the topics covered by Michael Burlingame in The Inner World of Abraham Lincoln.

Based primarily on long-neglected manuscript and newspaper sources - especially on reminiscences of people who knew Lincoln - this psychobiography casts new light on the emotional origins of Lincoln's deep hatred of slavery, on his transformation from a party hack to a statesman, on his relations with his family, on the causes of his depressions, and on the roots of his ambition. Burlingame uses a blend of Freudian and Jungian theory to interpret the psyche of the sixteenth president."