Robert Todd Lincoln --The vitals

[kerry]

(02-04-2018 01:20 PM)Eva Elisabeth Wrote:  A lot of people who knew her personality liked her. I think those people were able to understand she had a good, warm, loving and giving side (which I think she had) despite her tempers. Maybe Mr. Burlingame would have changed his mind had he met her in person. Maybe not, she possibly just doesn't match HIS idea of a "suitable" wife (for him or in his world view... same goes for Hendon). And none of the critics seem to acknowledge she was capable of "dealing" with Abraham Lincoln, his needs in life (career and resulting absence etc.), his moods etc, his "non-etiquette" behavior, his challenge seeking mind.
As for she (or he) and affairs, I think she was faithful as was he. However, until a "love letter" pops up that clearly proves anything else this will always remain a matter of belief gossip and speculation either way. Mary never re-married nor had an affair after his dead when it would have been legitimate, most likely accepted by many, and not unusual. My best guess is that she tried to "let her southern belle charme" help her getting out of debts (without going any further than entertaining conversation, charming small talk, the Scarlett O'Hara way).

There are a lot of people who will never like someone like Mary Lincoln - they care a lot about decorum, conformity, etc., and one instance of her temper would turn them off for good. They can't imagine Lincoln could ever have been happy with her. But many if not most very successful men are attracted to intelligent, outspoken women; we ignore this fact too much. Of the little that is known of Jefferson's wife, her daughter wrote she was "saucy" or something along those lines. I feel that a lot of people who write about Lincoln have completely missed his love of people who were fun and different, and his willingness to look beyond obvious flaws to see people's true character and talents.