Robert Todd Lincoln --The vitals

[kerry]

Yeah, it's clear that Mathilda was a very attractive, fascinating woman. No doubt Lincoln and many others fantasized about her. From all the accounts, I have little doubt Lincoln expressed his interest to his friends and Mary. But I think it was likely in part self-sabotage; an excuse to get out of something he wasn't ready for and was confused about. It would not surprise me at all if Mary told him to go for it, knowing he either wouldn't have the nerve or Mathilda would reject him. It was a crush that wasn't going anywhere. Mathilda rejected them all for a rich old man -- it doesn't seem like she would have valued what Lincoln had to offer. Mary is often accused of being snobby, but I feel like that is the wrong word. Aristocratic, yes, but a snobby person doesn't marry Abraham Lincoln. She clearly didn't think he was actually beneath her, even if his habits grated on her. And for all the talk about proud Todd ancestry, she didn't seem to care all that much about antecedents. She was probably one of the only women around like that.

From the book, there is this letter, which isn't often discussed. I'll type up a few of the other excerpts when I get a chance. Jane D. Bell was a Springfield woman.

Jane D. Bell to Ann Bell January 27, 1841:

"Miss Todd is flourishing largely. She has a great many Beaus. You ask me how she and Mr. Lincoln are getting along. Poor fellow, he is in a rather bad way. Just at present though he is on the mend now as he was out on Monday for the first time for a month dying with love they say. The Doctors say he came within an inch of being a perfect lunatic for life...It seems he had addressed Mary Todd and she accepted him and they had been engaged some time when a Miss Edwards of Alton came here, and he fell desperately in love with her and found he was not so much attached to Mary as he thought...Lincoln could never bear to leave Miss Edward's side in company. Some of his friends thought he was acting very wrong and very imprudently and told him so and he went crazy." This one is interesting because if Lincoln was being so obvious about it, it is interesting that Mary stood for it.

I also feel that romantic notions at the time complicate this story. They really sold the you have one true love thing, and it was as if once you were engaged you should never be attracted to any woman again. Maybe Lincoln really took that to heart. Herndon certainly did with his Ann Rutledge theory. So many people write as though they never thought twice about their spouse, which is interesting given how young they got married and how little interaction they had before doing so.