Robert Todd Lincoln --The vitals

[kerry]

(01-26-2018 05:56 PM)Anita Wrote:  

(01-26-2018 05:07 AM)RJNorton Wrote:  

(01-26-2018 04:47 AM)Eva Elisabeth Wrote:  Matheny also "maintained that Mr. Lincoln told him that he was in love with [Mary Todd’s niece] Matilda Edwards rather than Mary Todd."

Very interesting, Eva. I have also read that Lincoln's real love (at that time) was Matilda Edwards. I think one or two others of the Springfield "coterie" may have claimed this (not 100% sure, though), but offhand I cannot remember the names.

I've been following the discussion here and in researching came across a book by Douglas L Wilson, "Lincoln Before Washington: New Perspectives on the Illinois Years." Chapter 6. Abraham Lincoln and "That Fatal First Of January."

It's 33 pages of detailed documented discussion with emphasis on Matilda (much new to me) woven together to provide those "new perspectives" I found well worth considering.

I don't have the book but there is a very lengthy amount of the chapter as a Google books preview but with key pages missing of course! Does anyone own this book? Other chapters look interesting as well. Here's the link.

https://preview.tinyurl.com/y9slj4v7

I own it. It's a very good breakdown of the whole thing but extremely detailed and complicated. And the accounts it brings together are all so contradictory -- when I read them, all I can think is we are missing some piece of the picture. In later years, everyone describes Lincoln as breaking up with Mary. But several letters written at the time all indicate Mary broke up with Lincoln. They all felt sorry for him, which doesn't go with the failing to show up for a wedding story. I think maybe no one had the real story. Wilson concludes both Lincoln and Speed pursued Mathilda at the same time and were rejected by her, leading to simultaneous breakdowns and Speed's exit from Springfield. He suggests from the timeline that the fatal first refers to Speed's selling his store, which in fact did occur on that date. But Lincoln's sentence "I should have been happy since the fatal first but for the fact that there is one who is still unhappy" doesn't make sense to me in that context. Why should he have been happy once Speed sold the store, meaning he lost his home and best friend? If he was angry with Speed about Mathilda and relieved to have him gone, he wouldn't have been writing him about his intimate life. But he then suggests it was a reference to Speed turning down Sarah Rickard, and concludes no one can tell what it refers to. His other main point is that Mathilda's influence must be acknowledged; everyone mentions it. Again, the later correspondence where he joked with Mary about seeing her and wanting to see her, knowing Mary's jealousy, would indicate that he was not madly in love with her for the rest of his life, and that she probably wasn't the real issue, but something he seized on his doubt and anxiety.


ETA: The accounts suggest what happened was Lincoln went to Mary and confessed his doubts etc. but then they kissed and left it undecided. Then, shortly afterward, Mary accused him of being in love with Mathilda, they had a fight, and Mary released him. But she left the question an open one. Perhaps she gave him a conditional release like "Go try to get Mathilda, good luck getting her to take you," and after a certain period of time if he hadn't found someone else they would be engaged again. It's interesting that her letters from this time period do not contain anger and even mention Mathilda nicely. Maybe they'd rushed into the whole thing too quickly and had been close to engaged but not quite, and decided to just back off, so the emotions weren't so intense but it looked like a big drama to outsiders. Or maybe Mary just saw that Lincoln was struggling and blaming her for it. There's that line from Elizabeth that he told her he hated her because he was insane. That is certainly an extreme thing to say if you are ending the relationship because you like someone else.