Robert Todd Lincoln --The vitals

[kerry]

A lot of people said Lincoln loved Mathilda, so there was definitely something to that. I highly doubt he *loved* her, but he probably had an infatuation that added to his doubt about the marriage. For all the drama about that, the later letters between him and Mary joking about him seeing Mathilda would indicate to me that he wasn't forever pining for her.

Researching Herndon has made me think he gets criticism for the wrong things and not enough criticism in others. The two weddings thing that is used to discredit him isn't all that discrediting, in my opinion. I don't know what happened, but Elizabeth said that to both Herndon and Weik many years apart. She was upset with Lincoln at the time of the Herndon interview, as much of Springfield was for not getting what they wanted in terms of positions etc. There was a lot of jealousy that also colors everything, some of it just the natural contrarianism that happens when someone you know well is turned into some sort of saint. Maybe she did it to aggravate Mary, but I doubt that. I think it is possible there was a quiet affair involving a few people, perhaps an engagement or New Year's party party, that Lincoln did not appear at. One of Mary's cousins said something similar. On the other hand, I think all the credit Herndon gets for being after the truth is missing when it comes to the Lincoln family. His conclusions go way too far; even taking his personality into account, he was reckless and malicious in his statements. He had his own narrative and was committed to it. He does give Mary a lot of compliments at times, and maybe he did have writings prepared to explain things, but he completely missed opportunities to gain an understanding. He also completely dismissed Robert as a person and doesn't seem to have thought there could be any insights in Lincoln's approach to fatherhood; instead, he describes him as a "tool and slave" to his children. Which is strange because Herndon seems to have been a committed family man, but it seems like few people looked to parenting for insights at the time; children were to be seen and not heard. Yet no one followed that maxim in Washington - everyone talked about how Lincoln's interactions with his family illuminated his character, which it clearly did.

Matheny didn't seem to remember who was at the wedding - no comment about the first best man, but I assume it would have been Speed. I find Speed's lack of comments on the marriage interesting. He says it was done for honor and implies Lincoln would have been less successful with a happier home, but never indicates any comment by Lincoln as to what his marriage was like, after providing the letters with all their agonizing.

Oh, and William Jayne claimed that he didn't know where the two weddings story came from, but that Herndon had told him he heard the words from Mary herself that there was. Maybe he misunderstood and Herndon said Mary's sister. Caroline Heally Dall and Weik both claim to have seen pretty spirited correspondence between Mary and Herndon after Lincoln's death. He got rid of it for one reason or another.