Robert Todd Lincoln --The vitals

[kerry]

Yeah, Robert does not seem to have been concerned with wider humanity. Many people are not, but the contrast with his father on that point is quite a glaring one. It's an unfair standard, but it's a notable omission either way. I think he really could not handle taking on broader concerns because he was emotionally overwhelmed by his own family issues. He had a shut-down reaction. Because he was reserved about it, he's not looked at as "moody," but it's pretty clear he was unstable at times. In W. A. Evans' biography of Mary, I think his comments on Robert are interesting:

"His reaction toward his father's memory was somewhat
abnormal. To steer between Scylla and Charybdis was not
an easy matter, and in doing so he did not display the same
qualities of judgment with which he made other decisions.
His peculiarities of personality caused him to steer too
far from the rocks on the one side and to hit those on the
other.

I had no acquaintance with him. From such evidence as
I have found, I hold the opinion that Robert Lincoln was
sensitive in fact, supersensitive ; that he was emotional
quite over-emotional under certain influences ; and that
most of his attitudes on personal and family matters were
defense reactions. There was much in life that gave him
pain. In his personality he inherited from his mother much
more than from his father. He lacked his father's humor,
wisdom, and poise. On the other hand, he had some of the
good qualities of both President and Mrs. Lincoln. While
his personality was somewhat abnormal, the trials to which
he was subjected never even threatened to push him beyond
the limits of his endurance. "

I agree with all of that, except the last line. I think he struggled a lot at times.

His other interesting observation was:

"Mrs. Edwards was a worthy woman with a great heart.
She mothered her sisters and her brothers, her husband and
children. No one who knew her said unkind things about
Mrs. Edwards. I am sure she was normal, and so are her
descendants so far as I could learn. Whatever blight there
was in the family, Mrs. Edwards and her children and their
children escaped it."

It shows how relatively easy it is for people to miss these things when it isn't told to them directly.

Mary's broader sympathies are too little brought up. I think she was sincere when she said she wanted more money in part to give to charities and set up a sort of foundation. She showed capacity to grow and empathize later in life, just like Lincoln did. She's often described as snobbish, but she was friends with Jane Swisshelm, who purposely only wore one ugly dress her whole life to make a statement. We still don't know exactly who she hung with in her final years in Europe, but she seemed to have a diverse group of friends. And in terms of recognizing differences, Mary many times comments that Robert is reserved and likes to be more quiet, and she clearly recognizes and respects that, even if she doesn't always go along with it. Robert never makes a comment along those lines, and, most notably, never mentions her intelligence, which many people mention as the most striking thing about her. In fact, he seems to have totally underestimated her, and Myra Bradwell (who seems to have been a known figure in Chicago). But then when he's arguing with the attorneys about whether he can step down as conservator before a year has passed, he finally in exasperation asks Mary to read the laws and give her opinion, which agrees with his. All the others were misreading it. He knew she would get it, and stop pushing for immediate freedom. I think that Mary took great pride in researching those laws and writing her own petition to the court (and trying to stir up a hit piece on the men involved, which sure would have been interesting.) It was one of the few intellectual pursuits she was able to do, even though it was under bad circumstances.

Another point I think is important is that while Robert chose to live a private life, which was absolutely his right, he imposed it on Mary. It's pretty clear that he shut down any attempts to write about her, even if it was in a positive way. The Ida Tarbell papers have some stuff on this. Even the official biography which he was apparently okay with after his own death, I reread recently, and there's almost nothing in that not already known. The "exclusive" stuff sounds highly exaggerated and smoothed over. He asked to read Lizzie Grimsley's manuscript before she had it published (6 Months in the White House). He made it a condition of her freedom that she stay out of the headlines. So her side of the story is irretrievably lost (unless I can find the memoir draft I've been after, but it's going nowhere.) I think he did it because he thought it was best, but he had to know that people would still talk and research, and he left no way to set the record straight. So it is even harder to judge. Swett had said he was going to write an article explaining their relationship, which Robert apparently approved, but then dropped dead of a heart attack. Herndon, also, wrote about it, but it never appeared in the magazine he mentioned. It drives me crazy thinking these might be lying in an archive somewhere.