Sons and parents

[LincolnToddFan]

Hi Eva!

Typically thought provoking and interesting topic from you!

I agree with Roger. I think there was a lot of love in the Lincoln house. I think Mary tended to brag about their children and I remember reading that AL was embarrassed by this. Mary also reportedly stopped speaking to someone who opined that Robert was not a pretty baby. Willie, Tad, and even poor little Eddie seemed absolutely crazy about their father.But I get the feeling that as a child and for much of his youth it was Mary that Robert was closest too. He identified with her patrician roots and especially with his Todd relatives. She doted on him and visited him at Harvard during the WH years. My belief is that Robert was extremely proud of his father late in life and revered his memory, but for reasons I have never been quite sure of there was not the complete adulation toward AL that the other children had.

Maybe it was simply a question of temperament? And I have always wondered if the intense closeness between AL and Willie and Tad would have lasted if the boys had grown to adulthood and if Lincoln had not died. Willie in particular seemed to be a highly intelligent deep thinker, devoutly religious even as a child. If he had grown to adulthood might there eventually have been some friction there? Hero-worship of a parent does not always survive childhood. But we will never know.

Now...as for the Lincolns as parents? The good news is that they apparently showered the kids with love and approval when they were young. Mary read to them and encouraged an interest in literature. AL taught them to love nature during walks in the woods. Corporal punishment was given to them but only rarely which must have been unique for those times. They were also encouraged to express themselves and to have their own opinions, VERY unique for 19th century children.

But they were way too permissive with the children imo. They had bad manners and were spoiled and undisciplined-especially in the case of Tad during the WH years. But even Tad showed promise before his tragically early death. He seemed to be growing into a lovely young man. How much of that was due to his early strong foundation of love and how much due to the influence of the excellent discipline of the European educational system he was exposed to after the assassination?