"Our One Common Country" author talk in Stratford, CT

[LincolnToddFan]

(09-02-2014 07:53 AM)Eva Elisabeth Wrote:  

(09-01-2014 10:59 AM)LincolnToddFan Wrote:  Eva E., I know the quote well, almost by heart...."I hope they are all dead...they would hang my husband and me beside him...when they chose against him, they chose against me" or something like that. Mary called her husband and the Union cause "the dearest of all things to us".

In 1862, she said to Elizabeth Keckley: "[Alexander] made his choice long ago...He has been fighting against us; and since he chose to be our deadly enemy, I see no reason why I should bitterly mourn his death." Keckley also told Mary "had no sympathy for the South", quoting her: They would hang my husband tomorrow if it was in their power, and perhaps gibbet me with him. How then can I sympathize with a people at war with me and mine?" (And "for this" she was accused to be a Confederant sympathizer...)
Also as a kid she wanted to help her black nurse Sally aiding runaway slaves.

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(09-01-2014 10:59 AM)LincolnToddFan Wrote:  Anyway, I think Mary only said those things publically about her brothers for effect. She knew that the newspapers and Washington gossip were openly questioning her loyalty, and accusing her of being a spy.

I'm not sure - so you think she actually grieved about a brother's death and stated the very opposite for good publicity?

No, I think she grieved for her relatives but couldn't say as much publically because the Northern press and public were circling like sharks, watching for any sign of disloyalty. The poor woman wouldn't have been human if she didn't feel something...these were her flesh and blood. When Alec Todd died on the battlefield she wept "Oh little Alec...why had you to die?" and later told her half-sister Emilie Todd Helm that Willie visited her at night "and twice he has come with our brother Alec, and is with him most of the time. You cannot dream of the comfort this gives me"(The Lincolns: Portrait of a Marriage" auth. Daniel Mark Epstein pg#441 sourced to Katherine Helm's "Mary, Wife of Lincoln:Containing the Recollections of Mary Lincoln's Sister Emilie")

"...The deaths of Sam and Alexander had come hard on the heels of Willie's passing and had affected Mary deeply, especially that of 'Little Alec' but she could hardly make a display of her grief. Even in private she indicated that something of a shell had formed over her heart. A friend visiting her in early 1862 had been astonished to hear her say that she hoped all her brothers fighting for the Confederacy would either be captured or killed. When the friend protested, she said grimly and truthfully, 'They would kill my husband if they could, and destroy our Government-the dearest of all things to us'.(Mary Todd Lincoln: Her Life and Letters, auth. Leavitt&Turner pg#155 source papers of Elizabeth Blair Lee)

When his Confederate brother-in-law Benjamin Hardin Helm(Emilie's husband) was killed at Chickamauga Lincoln wept, and said he felt like the biblical David grieving over Absalom(The House of Abraham: Lincoln & the Todds, A Family Divided by Civil War. auth. Stephen Berry, source Katherine Helm papers)

These were the true, private feelings of the Lincolns who, just like many Americans during the Civil War, had family members fighting on both sides. Their primary loyalty was to the Union cause, but that didn't mean they didn't feel pain for their lost Confederate kin.