Lincoln and Ann Rutledge

[Eva Elisabeth]

(06-24-2014 11:27 AM)LincolnToddFan Wrote:  I am surprised that AL had a friend like this man.

(I yesterday misssed to follow the recent development of this thread, just skimmed it now, and hope I won't repeat something I overread in haste.)

It depends on what you call a friend. D. Donald in his "We are Lincoln Men" examined Lincoln's kind of "friendships" to several men based on Arestotele's typology of friendship distincting three basic kinds: "enjoyable" (for pleasure driven from each other's company), "useful" (each party has something to gain ny associating with the other), and "perfect" or "complete" friendships. The last category includes free sharing of ideas, hopes, wishes, ambitions, and fears. If I remember correctly (and this makes sense to me), Donald put only Speed into this last category, all other "friends", including Herndon were useful or enjoyable friends, or both, but not "complete" ones. Herndon and Lincoln were mainly linked to each other due to their law partnership and political interests both being Whigs.
Though Lincoln never explained his choice of Herndon, one can assume several reasons. He knew him well as Herndon, too, clerked in Speed's store, slept there in the same room with Speed and Lincoln, and participated in the discussions around the stove. Both were "Young Men's Lyceum" members.
Lincoln recognized that Herndon was "a laborious, studious young man...far informed on almost all subjects than I have ever been" - and Lincoln sure believed to benefit from that. (Herndon collected one of the best private libraries in Springfield.) Also A. L. wanted to be the senior this time, plus watching Herndon study and being aware of his own deficiencies as an office manager, Lincoln hoped Herndon would be more efficient in keeping books and track of a firm's business (turned out to be wrong). One other reason was most likely a political one, a split had developed in the Whig party between the "aristocratic", established leadership (to which N. W. Edwards belonged and Lincoln due to his marriage was associated with) and the "Young Turks" (to which Herndon belonged) who wanted a more democratic party that appealed to the masses. Through Herndon Lincoln seeked a connection to this part of the party. That the friendship was not a complete one is obvious as Herndon found him "incommunicative - silent, reticent - secretive" and "the most shut-mouthed man". "He was the great big man of our firm and I was the little one. The little one looked naturally up to the big one." Does that sound like an even friendship? Rather a useful and partly enjoyable one (as for the shared interest in discussing and literature). Also Herndon had no sense of humor.

As for friendships Donald BTW suspected that for at least the last part of his marriage there was an intimacy Lincoln did not find elsewhere.

Another BTW: One reason for which I personally don't believe A. L. was gay (though who knows) is that most gay men are extremely aware and concerned about their outward appearance, and are less interested in telling and sharing the kind of anecdotes and stories Lincoln enjoyed to tell.