More on Mrs. Lincoln's [non] faux pas

[David Lockmiller]

(06-12-2014 11:19 AM)L Verge Wrote:  I'm not sure how others were allowed to post under the original, long name of the previous thread. When I tried, the computer informed me that Mr. Lockmiller's title was too long. So, in the interest of full disclosure, I have shortened that title a bit in order to express my thoughts.

This reference to Mary's dress at the death of Baker is so typically Burlingame...

If he had researched Victorian mourning customs, he would have found that the all-black attire that women chose was relegated mainly to relatives of the deceased -- widows, grieving children, sisters, aunts. In some areas of southern climate, all-white was used for heavy mourning (and still is).

Varying shades of purple were used when coming out of mourning, but were also perfectly acceptable when attending the funeral of a friend. The death of Baker did not necessitate Mary observing deep mourning. He was a friend, but he was not a statesman of note that would have required a state funeral or national mourning. Mary made a perfectly acceptable choice in dress.

In one of the six sources that I consulted, I found this interesting comment about the morbidity that was created by the American Civil War - which may have resulted in relaxing funeral customs over the successive decades:

"In America, the change in mourning had been brewing long before Victoria’s death. The Civil War helped to instigate this change. The war lasted from 1861 to 1865, and approximately 618,000 soldiers died. Twice as many Southern soldiers died than Northern and practically the whole population of the South was in mourning. The depression that all the women in black caused added to an already grieving nation. At one point the governor of Mississippi actually tried to pass a law banning Victorian mourning garb because of the low morale of the people. War changed America’s rigid mourning rules out of neccessity. "

It is fine with me that this additional topic on bashing MTL is posted at this time. Surratt House Museum has a mourning exhibit mounted right now that is intriguing our visitors. It also means that funerary customs are fresh in my mind so that I can give informed answers. It reinforces my contention that a good historian understands fully the customs and background of the era that he studies before making generalizations.

Mary Lincoln shocked many people at Edward D. Baker’s funeral by appearing in a lilac dress, bonnet, and gloves. Some members of her circle, thinking she should be made aware of that breach of etiquette, dispatched one of her closest friends to convey the message. Upon arriving at the White House, the emissary was greeted by Mary Lincoln with an exclamation: “I am so glad you have come, I am just as mad I can be. Mrs. Crittenden has just been here to remonstrate with me for wearing my lilac suit to Colonel Baker’s funeral. I wonder if the women of Washington expect me to muffle myself up in mourning for every soldier killed in this great War?”

“But Mrs. Lincoln,” came the reply, “do you not think black more suitable to wear at a funeral because there is a great war in the nation?”

“No, I don’t. I want the women to mind their own business; I intend to wear what I please.”



So, it is your contention that the other women attending the funeral of Colonel Baker that day, including "one of her closest friends" and Senator Crittenden's wife, were completely unaware of the proper funeral etiquette for the time and circumstance?

Or, are you saying the entire story, or the principal portion of the story, was a fabrication by Professor Burlingame to disparage the reputation of the President's wife?

The cited source references used by Professor Burlingame were: Clipping from the New York, Commercial Gazette, 9 Jan. 1887, J. G. Randall Papers, Library of Congress; Washington correspondence by Vidette, 11 Dec. 1861, New York Commercial Advertiser, 13 Dec. 1861; reminiscences of John Palmer Usher, unidentified clipping, Otto Eisenschiml Papers, University of Iowa.

By the way, the funeral of Colonel Baker took place in the first year of the Civil War when there was not much actual combat, relatively speaking.