Lincoln and Ann Rutledge

[L Verge]

Bravo, Toia and Eva. I am convinced that there was a deep and lasting love between those two. I suspect there could have been a similar love between Abraham and Ann, if fate had not taken her. I don't see Abraham Lincoln as a man who took love lightly.

The men seem to dwell on the fact that Lincoln first fled from the altar. I am willing to bet that at least 75% of you who have "taken the plunge" had serious doubts about what you were getting yourself into right up until the moment you walked out to meet your bride.

I was a church organist for 26 years, and I have seen a lot of men much more nervous than the brides. One gentleman almost got disowned by his father-in-law because, as the bride and groom knelt at the altar rail for the final blessing, the congregation (and dad) could clearly see that he had spelled "HELP" on his left shoe and "ME" on his right shoe. That sure broke the solemnity of the moment! And yes, the couple is still married, and it has been over thirty years.

Could Lincoln have had a case of jitters for some time knowing that he was marrying out of his social circle (which was an important element in those days) and worrying that he was a struggling lawyer with political aspirations and how in the world was he going to support a wife and the children that would likely follow? Could he have worried that he wasn't good enough for Mary Todd?

Very frankly, I think those who still cling to painting Mary as a shrew are doing a disservice to Mr. Lincoln. You look up to Lincoln for his foresight, his character, his depth of feelings for others, his principles of decency -- and yet you make him seem to be a browbeaten, hen-pecked husband who dare not say his soul was his own.