Lincoln and Ann Rutledge

[LincolnToddFan]

H. Donald Winkler? Isn't he the gentleman who identifies himself as a descendant of the sainted, lamented Ann Rutledge? He also described Lincoln's much loved youngest son Tad as a "retard" in one of his books, and in yet another("Lincoln And Booth") made the truly loathsome suggestion that Mary Todd Lincoln helped set up her husband's murder in a fit of pique after City Point. Lovely.

David, I have read everything you posted above, many times. Lincoln had cold feet and doubts right up to the moment of his wedding. But the idea that he had the wedding band inscribed "perhaps to Mary's instructions" is pure speculation that cannot be proven and indeed is not proved by any of the persons you quoted.

The issue of the engraved wedding band is devastating to the claims of anti-Mary folks that Lincoln had no love for this young woman, which is why they are reduced to making bizarre speculations and to trying so very hard to minimize it.("She MADE him do it!") Unless there is indisputable evidence to the contrary-a letter or the statement of a trustworthy and unbiased third party, Lincoln engraved his bride's ring LOVE IS ETERNAL because he wanted to.

As Laurie so succinctly pointed out, how do you explain the fact that he impregnated this woman who allegedly made him miserable multiple times? Why not move into a separate room after Robert's birth instead of bringing more and more children into a loveless, unhappy marriage to a woman he never wanted?

How do Burlingame and the rest of you explain the longing for her company that he expressed in letters he wrote to her from Washington D.C. when he was in Congress and they were separated?
Did he call her "Molly", "Puss" and his "little woman" because Mary made him do it? Why did he run home through the rain to comfort her when she was frightened? Why did he tell the reporter during the Presidency that he had fallen in love with her and had never fallen out? Why present her with diamonds after 21 years of marriage, along with a declaration of love("I give you my heart")? How to explain the fact that during the White House years it is to Mary's sitting room and bedroom that he often retreated to nap, read and relax?(Elizabeth Keckley "Behind The Scenes at the White House") The rooms of the woman who he married under duress and who made him miserable according to Burlingame. He had his own room at the WH...why not go there?

There is evidence that AL had doubts about marriage and intimacy and apparently dreaded both. There is also evidence-very compelling evidence-of a deep love and attachment that he formed with Mary once he was actually in the marriage.

It was a complex relationship. It is difficult, perhaps impossible to know for 100% certain the truth about the marriage because much of their personal correspondence was lost. But one thing is absolutely certain...MTL never doubted her husband's love and devotion to her. In her hundreds of letters that are in existence, her faith in that love is unshaken. As she expressed it..."it will comfort me to my grave". Herndon, with all his over the top drivel about AL losing his mind and wandering the fields and blubbering over the grave of Ann Rutledge failed to shake the faith in the love of her husband that MTL had.

And she is the one person that counts here.