Lincoln and Ann Rutledge

[David Lockmiller]

The following are two quotes from a book entitled “The Women in Lincoln’s Life” by Donald Winkler and one quote from David Donald Herbert’s book “Lincoln.” The first quote references the original source of one of the Lincoln quotes from Professor Burlingame’s books that I used in my previous post. The second quote details the events of the wedding day for Mary Todd and Abraham Lincoln and calls into question the true source of the wedding ring inscription. The David Herbert Donald quote supports the statement by Speed regarding the happiness that he found in his own marriage and elaborates on the importance of this fact to Lincoln.

quote one from Winkler’s book:

Dr. Henry, concerned about Lincoln’s debilitating condition, encouraged Mary to write him an official letter of release, thinking she might be partly responsible. She finally did so, but added: “I have not changed my mind, but feel as always.” Mrs. Butler, who helped care for Lincoln, went into his room on January 17, closed the door, and walking over to his bed, said: “Now, Abraham, what is the matter? Tell me all about it.” He did. Mrs. Butler’s sister Sarah Richard (Speed’s former girlfriend) later told a reporter: “Suffering under the thought that he had treated Mary badly, knowing that she loved him and that he did not lover her, Mr. Lincoln was wearing his very life away in an agony of remorse. He made no excuse for breaking with Mary, but said, sadly, to my sister: ‘Mrs. Butler, it would just kill me to marry Mary Todd.’”

quote two from Winkler’s book:

Early on the morning of November 4, 1842, Lincoln dropped by the Reverend Charles Dresser’s home. The Dresser family was eating breakfast when Lincoln reportedly announced, “I want to get hitched tonight.” The surprised Episcopal minister checked his schedule and said he would be available. After stores opened, Lincoln dashed into Chatterton’s jewelry shop and ordered a wide-band ring – perhaps according to Mary’s instructions. It was to be inscribed: “A.L. to Mary, Nov. 4, 1842. Love is Eternal.” At noon Lincoln visited James H. Matheny, a friend who was the son of the county clerk. “Jim, I shall have to marry that girl this evening. Will you be my best man?” Matheny agreed and thought that “Lincoln looked and acted as if he was going to the slaughter.” Lincoln told Matheny he was “driven into the marriage.” Mary Todd called on Julia Jayne, co-author of the “Lost Townships” letters, and asked her to be a bridesmaid. At about the same time, the couple’s closest friends and relatives were notified, and Mary broke the news to her sister Elizabeth Edwards, fueling the most memorable of the day’s unforgettable exchanges. “How could you marry someone who humiliated you? He’s white trash, a common person, a plebian.” But Mary would not back down. Elizabeth finally gave in but then attacked the timing: “You’ve only given me two-hours notice. I don’t have time to prepare a suitable wedding feast . . . I guess I’ll have to send out for gingerbread and beer.” “Well,” Mary replied sarcastically, “that will be good enough for plebeians, I suppose!” As Lincoln was dressing for the ceremony, his landlord’s son asked him where he was going. Lincoln replied, “To hell, I suppose.”

quote three form David Herbert Donald’s book:

It is my understanding that David Herbert Donald is an acceptable source of information on this subject matter. David Herbert Donald in his book “Lincoln” (at pages 89-90) wrote the following which appears to me to be in strong support of the “Speed” quote which I posted previously: ”One thing is plainly discernible; if I had not been married and happy — far more happy than I ever expected to be — he would not have married.”
Once the [Speed] wedding took place, a different note entered Lincoln’s letters. He awaited “with intense anxiety and trepidation” Speed’s report on his marriage. When Speed reported that he was far happier than he ever expected to be, Lincoln was overjoyed. “I am not going beyond the truth, when I tell you, that the short space it took me to read your last letter, gave me more pleasure, than the total sum of all I have enjoyed since that fatal first of Jany. ’41.” He might have left it at that, but he needed to make sure that Speed, after all his doubts and suffering, was happy. Eight months after the wedding he asked bluntly: “Are you now, in feeling as well as judgment, glad you are married as you are?” “From any body but me,” he realized, “”this would be an impudent question not to be tolerated; but I know yu will pardon it in me.”

David Herbert Donald added in the first sentence immediately thereafter: “He had a reason for asking Speed to reply quickly, for he was once more approaching marriage with Mary Todd.”