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RE: How grammatically stupid I am
Rob, just want to say, I hope my comments weren't too much (I might have been a bit enthusiastic). I understood your request as intended to get our true opinion, and I hope you sensed the replies as they were intended to be - constructive rather than scorching. It was exactly what Mike said about trying too hard what I thought of regarding the "Yesterday"-reference. Are you pressed by a deadline? I really like your last wording I quoted above very much, it sounds authentic and vivid. As Kate said, in your postings you prove you are an able writer. All the best for your project!
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