Knowing your limitations

[Rob Wick]

Please forgive me this, but I often find if I'm able to give voice to something which is bothering me, it helps me to work it out.

As most of you know, I'm working on my first book. When it comes to writing, especially mine, I'm my own worst critic. No surprise. Most creative people usually are. But right now I've hit a major stumbling block and it threatens to shut down the whole enterprise. I'm working on the sample chapter that I will send out to prospective publishers. While every chapter has to be the absolute best I can make it, there is an additional pressure on me to make this as sensational as possible. Given that I've only been sporadically published, this will literally determine if I have what it takes to do this.

The first part of the chapter, in which Tarbell meets Roland Diller and comes up with the Billy Brown stories, is generally good. It needs some work, but after finding a newspaper interview in which Tarbell gives some detail as to how she chanced upon Diller, it seems to be going smoothly. It's in the meat of the chapter which is giving me fits. From 1908 generally to 1911, Tarbell was in a fight with her former publisher, The McClure Company, over the copyright for her books. The situation has a great deal of drama, especially given Tarbell's desire to avoid having to file suit against S.S. McClure, who gave her a forum in which she was able to create the work which brought her international fame. The text is especially wooden. I realize that part of it has to do with the subject nature, after all I'm not sure even Stephen King could make a legalese-laden copyright battle read like a thriller (although I could be wrong ) As I read over what I've written, it just lies on the page. As I was reading it last night, I found myself thinking "this is just about the most boring writing I've read in a long time." As someone who reads a great deal, I think I am pretty good at judging good writing, average writing, or mediocre writing. This falls well below the mediocre level.

I also realize that, given my own insecurities, I may be overselling it. But if I can't take a situation which has the drama already built it, and keep it from sounding like a legal brief, what chance do I have of getting the thing accepted?

Anne Lamott has said that a writer has to give him or herself permission to write a really sucky first draft (although she uses a term far more intense than sucky), and I know I've been able to take things I really hate and bring them up to something not that bad. So far I'm drawing a huge blank with this. I'm not putting this out to get cheap flattery (although I never turn it down ) but like I said before, sometimes being able to give voice to what it bothering me seems to help.

Thanks for listening.

Best
Rob