Mother Mary

[Eva Elisabeth]

On another thread David Lockmiller posted a "strawberry shortcake story" (thanks for sharing, David - nice, never read before!). Cake reminds me of birthday, and I just wonder - somewhere I read Mary, unusual in those days, gave birthday parties for the kids. (Once more the Lincolns were ahead of their times.) It might have been in Jean Baker's bio, I'll check later. However, no further details were given (or I don't remember...). I didn't check the (foot)notes when I read it though as this question didn't come to my mind then. Does anyone know more on 1. what she did, what was probably going on on 19 th century kids' birthday parties*, and/or 2. what source there is for this? (* speculations also much appreciated)

Thanks for any comments!

[RJNorton]

Eva, here is a little information. On January 1, 1860, Mary Lincoln wrote a letter to her friend, Hannah Shearer. Included in this letter:

"Speaking of boys, Willie's [ninth) birthday came off on the 21st of Dec. and as I had long promised him a celebration, it duly came off. Some 50 or 60 boys & girls attended the gala, you may believe I have come to the conclusion, that they are nonsensical affairs. However, I wish your boys, had been in their midst."

I might add that an invitation to this birthday party written by Mary to Isaac Diller is in the Abraham Lincoln Presidential Library and Museum. It is addressed to "Little Isaac Diller" and says, "Willie Lincoln will be pleased to see you, Wednesday Afternoon at 3 O'clock."

[Eva Elisabeth]

Thank you, Roger - fascinating info! Incredible, I didn't expect a gala with roughly 60 kids, that sounds like quite a mass event to me - full house!!!

[L Verge]

Sounds like a recipe for a total, chaotic disaster to me. Another thing to add to the list of things that might have driven Mary Lincoln to insanity!

[Gene C]

Actually, Ms. Verge, it was a great party. I ate quite well, and helped Mrs. Lincoln clean the dishes. - Fido

[L Verge]

You're a good friend, Fido, and nice to have around the house to help in times of need.

[LincolnToddFan]

Thanks Roger-

I was very surprised to read somewhere that childrens' parties were a rarity in mid 19th century America. Mary was a very doting mama, not to mention a brave one..one account I read of this party had some of the little guests at the "gala" playing with straws by inserting them into the burning stove and almost accidentally setting a fire!!

("The Last Lincolns" Charles Lachman)

[L Verge]

I did not know that my mother had never had a birthday party in her life until I threw a surprise one for her 70th birthday. My grandmother was born during the high Victorian age, 1874, and her family did not believe in birthday parties outside of the immediate family. She was 40 when my mother was born and chose not to have parties for her children either.

Luckily, the non-party tradition stopped there. From about age 5, I remember great parties that my mother held for me. In fact, at my 50th high school reunion, several of my friends told me how they remembered the parties -- and how great it was that my house had a big enough dining room for everyone to fit around the table. Mom must have been the Mary Lincoln of her day.

[LincolnToddFan]

You are so lucky. As children, me and my siblings did not have the kind of birthday parties where we invited our friends...only cake-and-ice cream-with-the-family type deals.

Oh well, at least we got presents!