(01-30-2018 12:19 PM)RJNorton Wrote:  I think it can be noted that no marriage license was issued to Abraham Lincoln and Mary Todd for January 1, 1841. On the other hand, prior to the wedding itself, they did obtain a license on November 4, 1842.

(01-30-2018 12:50 PM)Susan Higginbotham Wrote:  While I have my doubts about the 1841 "wedding," I don't think the lack of a marriage license is necessarily proof that a ceremony was never intended. It could be that a license was issued, but not recorded in the official records because the wedding was never solemnized.

(01-30-2018 02:23 PM)Susan Higginbotham Wrote:  I forget whether it was Ann Todd or Frances Todd, but IIRC, one of their grooms showed up late for the wedding, requiring the ceremony to be postponed. I agree with those who suggest that in her memory, Elizabeth Edwards conflated this incident with the Mary/Lincoln breakup. But "'Tis a muddle!" as Stephen in Dickens' Hard Times would say.

(01-30-2018 07:02 AM)RJNorton Wrote:  Back to the topic of two weddings - did the first one happen as Herndon described or not? What is the truth? Here is what Herndon wrote:

"The time fixed for the marriage was the first day of January, 1841. Careful preparations for the happy occasion were made at the Edwards mansion. The house underwent the customary renovation; the furniture was properly arranged, the rooms neatly decorated, the supper prepared, and the guests invited. The latter assembled on the evening in question, and awaited in expectant pleasure the interesting ceremony of marriage. The bride, bedecked in veil and silken gown, and nervously toying with the flowers in her hair, sat in the adjoining room. Nothing was lacking but the groom. For some strange reason he had been delayed. An hour passed, and the guests, as well as the bride, were becoming restless. But they were all doomed to disappointment. Another hour passed; messengers were sent out over town, and each returning with the same report, it became apparent that Lincoln, the principal in this little drama, had purposely failed to appear. The bride, in grief, disappeared to her room; the wedding supper was left untouched; the guests quietly and wonderingly withdrew; the lights in the Edwards mansion were blown out, and darkness settled over all for the night. What the feelings of a lady as sensitive, passionate, and proud as Miss Todd were, we can only imagine; no one can ever describe them. By daybreak, after persistent search, Lincoln's friends found him. Restless, gloomy, miserable, desperate, he seemed an object of pity. His friends, Speed among the number, fearing a tragic termination, watched him closely in their rooms day and night. 'Knives and razors, and every instrument that could be used for self-destruction, were removed from his reach.' Mrs. Edwards did not hesitate to regard him as insane, and of course her sister Mary shared in that view."

What really happened? Did Herndon totally create this? Partially create this? Tell the truth?

(01-30-2018 03:01 PM)Eva Elisabeth Wrote:  If there were wedding intentions in 1841 and whoever got cold feet I don't understand the fuss about it respectively to see some negative indication "into this". As for the situation, family and other life circumstances and background of both of them in those days I find it mist understandable. For Abraham it meant quite the financial obligation in times when it wasn't to expect from wives to add income to the living, plus Mary came from a quite fastidious end of society, and I understand the worries not being able to provide his bride a likewise future. And v.v. Mary might have fretted as for losing all.

The fact that despite a possible "reasonable" or whatever reasoned separation they "couldn't let from each other" and finally married despite all these IMO speaks much more (positive).