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This letter is in the Berkshire Museum collection. When I was tracking it down I thought it was the theater invite. Too bad but interesting just the same.
[Image: invitee.jpg]
The letter reads : "Executive Mansion, General Grant - Mr. Lincoln is indisposed with quite a severe headache, yet would be very much pleased to see you at the house this eve-ning about 8 o'clock & I want you to dine around with us to see the illumination. Very Truly, Mary Lincoln"
Thanks for posting this, Rich! I checked the Turners' book which lists the date as April 13, 1865. It sort of sounds like Mrs. Grant was not invited...
I love how she invites him to "the house", as if it were any ordinary residence.
Doesn't the letter say "drive around"?
It is noteworthy, I think, that Mrs. Grant is not invited- or are we reading too much into it?
Bill ... You're not reading to much into it. Ms. Lincoln didn't want her there. (and the feeling was probably mutual)
I think she was only inviting Gen Grant because Mr. Lincoln asked her to, but I think it was a big breech of etiquette (and an insult) not to invite the Mrs. also, if she was in town that day.

Tom..looks like "drive around" to me too.
I didn't realize until I read Fanny Seward's diary that people in the 19th century spoke of driving in a carriage as we speak of driving in a car so Mrs. Lincoln and General Grant were driving (or riding) in a carriage watching the illumination.

Wednsday [sic]. April 5th 1865
I went in the afternoon to make a call,
met Father in the Dept wagon. Anna was not
well—had been ailing several days. She took
a little drive with us. After that Mary Titus 1
and I went to Dept. for Father and Fred—
stopped at our door for Father’s coat, drove
out Vermont Avenue.
So did General Grant accept the invitation and go?
The invitation was declined. Instead the Grants attended a reception at the Stantons' residence.
So, the Grants declined two of Mary's invites, two days in a row. Saying "no" to the first lady must have been difficult. The second "no" would have been unprecedented today. It really is a great side story.
Hi Rich. That is what it says in Epstein's book on p. 500.

After the "incident" between the two women at City Point I believe the tension was palpable. It is my opinion that Julia Grant wanted nothing to do with Mary Lincoln (and vice-versa). Epstein writes, "...the invitation rudely neglected to include Mrs. Grant." Perhaps an arrangement was made, but I will bet it didn't include the two ladies riding together to see the illumination.
Roger, I found a reference that says General Grant did accompany Mrs. Lincoln on the evening of April 13, 1865 to see the Grand Illumination. Mrs. Grant was not invited by Mrs. Lincoln. The quote is from Abraham Lincoln: A Life, by Michael Burlingame. Knox College, Unedited Manuscript, Vol 2, Chapter 36. The reference can also be found in The Inner World of Abraham Lincoln, also by Burlingame.

"The previous evening, Lincoln had been too sick with a headache to take a
carriage ride with his wife, who wished to see the brilliant illuminations celebrating Lee’s
surrender. Grant, at Lincoln’s request, had agreed to accompany her. As she and the
general entered their carriage, the crowd that had gathered outside the White House
shouted “Grant!” nine times. Taking offense, Mrs. Lincoln instructed the driver to let her
out, but she changed her mind when the crowd also cheered for the president. This
happened again and again as the carriage proceeded around town. The First Lady
evidently thought it inappropriate that Grant should be cheered before her husband was."

The footnote says, "In the fall of 1869, Grant gave this account to his cabinet. Hamilton Fish diary, entry for 12 November 1869, Fish Papers, Library of Congress."
Kudos, Linda! Epstein and at least 8 other authors I checked did not do their homework and investigate thoroughly enough. After the reception at the Stantons, Ulysses went to the White House and perhaps Julia returned to their room at the Willard Hotel.
Thanks Linda for that info. How many people declined the theater invite, 16? I would assume all would have been hand written on White House letterhead and delivered by messenger. I do not recall any of the invitations surviving. Does anyone else?
I found this about Julia Grant and an attempted "capture."
Right after Julia left Holly Springs around December 20, 1862, for Oxford, Confederate Officer Earl Van Dorn raided Holly Springs where Union troops were posted. Van Dorn sent some of his men to the house where Julia had been living where they asked for her with the apparent intent of capturing her. That was the closest call with personal disaster that Julia had throughout all her trips into enemy territory.
This is from:
http://faculty.css.edu/mkelsey/usgrant/Julia.html
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