Sarah Rickard

[Gene C]

(01-09-2013 06:15 PM)RJNorton Wrote:  At about the same time (c.1840) Lincoln apparently had strong feelings for another teen, Matilda Edwards. She was 18, two years older than Sarah. I cannot recall where I read it, but I think I read that Mary Todd considered Matilda her chief rival.

I have come across Matilda Edwards name in "Honor's Voice" by Douglas Wilson. Evidently she was quite popular, and Lincoln was somewhat infatuated with her for a time. (I'm still reading the book)
Are there any photo's of her?

[RJNorton]

I have never seen a photo. Many of the young men in Springfield were attracted to her. She passed away at a young age. Find a Grave has a page on her here. The page here says, "On Feb. 5, 1851, while on a trip to Philadelphia, Matilda collapsed on a street and died suddenly."

[LincolnToddFan]

Something that strikes me about Abraham Lincoln and his dealings with the opposite sex(before his marriage) was his pattern of intense attractions to women and girls who were not available. Let's look at this for a minute-
Anne Rutledge-engaged to his pal John McNamar. Even if she did return AL's feelings for her she was pledged to another man. That could have gotten messy.
Mary Owens-she wasn't that into him, and he wasn't that into her, but they discussed marriage. Weird.
Sarah Rickard-very young, and just like Mary Owens and Matilda Edwards, didn't take the guy at all seriously as a love interest.
Matilda Edwards-this ravishing young lady touted by so many anti-Mary Lincoln "Herndon School" biographers as Lincoln's great passion, the woman he ditched Mary for, didn't even give Lincoln the time of day. Never even had a real, complete conversation together!

Then we have Mary Ann Todd, desperate to marry him and even willing to wait for him after he dumped her. But he got cold feet and had doubts, apparently right up to the last minute.

This confirms my suspicion that Lincoln biographer Charles Strozier was dead on the money about AL's fears of real intimacy. He only ever felt comfortable chasing girls who were either unavailable or didn't want him.

Interesting postscript about Matilda. A few years into their marriage, the Lincolns were teasing one another about her. In a letter MTL wrote to him she casually noted that Matilda was in town, and AL playfully responded something to the effect of "will you deliver a letter to her from me..neener neener!" It was all very light-hearted and tongue in cheek. Knowing his volatile, insecure young wife as he did would AL have risked setting her off if Matilda had ever meant anything REALLY serious to him?

Nope. Don't think so!

[Mike B.]

(04-05-2014 09:31 PM)LincolnToddFan Wrote:  Something that strikes me about Abraham Lincoln and his dealings with the opposite sex(before his marriage) was his pattern of intense attractions to women and girls who were not available. Let's look at this for a minute-
Anne Rutledge-engaged to his pal John McNamar. Even if she did return AL's feelings for her she was pledged to another man. That could have gotten messy.
Mary Owens-she wasn't that into him, and he wasn't that into her, but they discussed marriage. Weird.
Sarah Rickard-very young, and just like Mary Owens and Matilda Edwards, didn't take the guy at all seriously as a love interest.
Matilda Edwards-this ravishing young lady touted by so many anti-Mary Lincoln "Herndon School" biographers as Lincoln's great passion, the woman he ditched Mary for, didn't even give Lincoln the time of day. Never even had a real, complete conversation together!

Then we have Mary Ann Todd, desperate to marry him and even willing to wait for him after he dumped her. But he got cold feet and had doubts, apparently right up to the last minute.

This confirms my suspicion that Lincoln biographer Charles Strozier was dead on the money about AL's fears of real intimacy. He only ever felt comfortable chasing girls who were either unavailable or didn't want him.

Interesting postscript about Matilda. A few years into their marriage, the Lincolns were teasing one another about her. In a letter MTL wrote to him she casually noted that Matilda was in town, and AL playfully responded something to the effect of "will you deliver a letter to her from me..neener neener!" It was all very light-hearted and tongue in cheek. Knowing his volatile, insecure young wife as he did would AL have risked setting her off if Matilda had ever meant anything REALLY serious to him?

Nope. Don't think so!

Douglas Wilson has the ultimate take on Matilda in "Honor's Voice." I don't think Lincoln actively courted her, but there seems to have been some feeling that he was very attracted to her, which may have led to the first breaking of the engagement.

Speed talks about her and was interested in her himself.

[LincolnToddFan]

Hi Mike B.,

Yes I have read bits of "Honor's Voice". I don't agree at all with the main conclusion DW puts forth regarding the circumstances and reasons for the Lincoln/Todd wedding,(that he was driven to do it simply by honor) but Wilson's information about Matilda was indeed interesting.

It's pretty certain that AL was infatuated with her, to what extent is not really known. There was certainly no real relationship, but the fact that his BFF Speed was also pursuing her must have made for some tense times between the two men at one point.

[Gene C]

The link of the photo for Sarah Rickard doesn't seem to work anymore, so here is one to the Library of Congress

https://www.loc.gov/item/scsm000876/

[RJNorton]

Thanks, Gene. In later years Sarah Rickard said of Lincoln that "his peculiar manner and his General deportment would not be likely to fascinate a young girl just entering the society world."

[Susan Higginbotham]

I like this 1907 quote from Sarah: "“If I’d known that he would have been President I would have paid more attention to him.”

[RJNorton]

Thanks, Susan. That is a neat quote!

Susan, your article here is wonderful.

[Susan Higginbotham]

Thanks, Roger!

[kerry]

In 1907, Sarah did a newspaper interview. Some of this has been said before (maybe in an interview with Herndon?) but some seems new. Unfortunately, it doesn't clear anything up, but it does given context. My summary:

In 1907, Sarah Rickard Barret gave an interview to the Kansas City Star. She went to live with her sister, Mrs. Butler, at the house where Lincoln took all his meals, and they got to know each other a lot. On their first meeting, when she was 9, Lincoln pulled her onto his lap and asked her her name, age, and the status of her studies . . . "I thought I was almost too big a girl to sit on the knee of any one, much less young man who looked like a huge, tall boy, so I wriggled down and hurried back to the kitchen.” She noted Lincoln “had on a long jeans coat, that came own below his knees, and I thought he was very homely. But after he got to going around to the courts and making speeches and mixing up in society, there was a wonderful come-out in ’Abe’ and he spruced up a good deal, and wasn’t behind the times.” When she was 16, he took her to the theater and parties Asked if he proposed to her, she said “well yes—or, at lest she came mighty nigh to it. He knew I was not thinking of marrying . . . But he hinted marriage to me several times . . . and one evening while ‘Abe’ and I were alone together in the parlor, he became very serious and said to me: ‘Now, Sarah, you know your bible well enough to know that Sarah was Abraham’s wife.’ I knew what was coming so I got up and left the room. If I’d known that he would have been president I would have paid more attention to him. I can tell you something that may be news about the courtship of Mr. Lincoln and Mary Todd, though it is pretty well known that Mary Todd was madly in love with Mr. Lincoln. She simply loved him and would have him whether or not. She was a bright, fascinating girl, with an unusual gift of sarcasm. She had a way of saying sharp, brilliant and sometimes cutting things. Mr. Lincoln admired her greatly, and though he still continued to take me to the theater and to dances, and to show some attention to Matilda Edwards, also, it was the talk of Springfield that Mary Todd would marry him in spite of himself. Things went on until Mr. Lincoln found himself enmeshed in an engagement with Mary. And now comes the odd phase in the life of the man. He broke off with Mary outright—just quit. He seems to be afraid too marry her. It might have been the belief that he did not love her, or the fear of the responsibilities of marriage, but at any rate for lack of a better word, I must say that Lincoln jilted her. The wedding day was set and all was ready, but Mr. Lincoln failed to appear. Mr. Lincoln went to the home of Joshua Speed, and almost immediately became violently ill. My brother-in-law, Mr. Butler, and my sister . . . went over and got him and brought him over to their home, where my sister nursed him through a long illness.. Mr. Lincoln did not seem to recover, and my sister, who had watched him closely, decided that he had something on his mind. At last she decided upon a plan of action, and one day went into Mr. Lincoln’s room, closed the door and, walking over to the bed, said: “‘Now, ‘Abe,’ what is the matter? Tell me all about it.’” And he did. Suffering under the ought that he had treated Mary Todd badly, knowing that she loved him, and that he had broken off the wedding, Mr. Lincoln was wearing his very life away in an agony of remorse. He made no excuse for breaking with Mary, but said sadly to my sister: ‘Mrs. Butler, it would just kill me to marry Mary Todd.’ ‘ But she’s a nice girl,’ my sister urged, ‘and you won’t be poor always.’ ‘It isn’t that,’’ said Mr. Lincoln, desperately. ‘There are plenty of nice girls, and there’s one that I would much rather marry than Mary. I’d rather have Sarah for my wife than any girl I know.’ …After my sister’s interview with Mr. Lincoln about the Mary Todd business he didn't’ see her any more for a long time. At last we all went down to Jacksonville to attend the wedding of Miss Nellie Haring, whose brother was a distinguished officer during the Mexican war. I went to the wedding and so did . . . Mr. Lincoln and Miss Todd. I sat next to Mr. Lincoln at the wedding dinner. He was going with me quite a good deal then. Mary Todd sat just across. Of course, rather than bring restraint upon the company, they spoke to each other, and that was the beginning off the reconciliation. When we all got back to Springfield and Mrs. Edwards . . . heard of it she was furious. She felt that Mr. Lincoln had treated Mary badly, and she forbade him the house. So Mary would quietly go over to the home of Mrs. Simeon Francis . . . and then Mrs. Francis would send for Mr. Lincoln. That was how the second courtship of Mary Todd and Mr. Lincoln came about, and no matter how might have been at first, Mary certainly made most of the plans and did the courting. I have never been able to account satisfactorily for Mr. Lincoln’s behavior about that time. He was the gentlest, most honest man I ever knew, and feeling that he had perhaps not fully appreciated the great love which Mary Todd undoubtedly had for him at first, he set about to make himself return it. Mary worshiped him, and he knew it, and knowing her worthiness he determined to make her happy. At last they were engaged again."

Sarah claims he jilted Mary - not sure how close Sarah was to the situation at the time, as she was apparently courting her future husband (letters to Herndon indicate it was not a happy marriage, and she though the Lincolns' marriage was also unfortunate). Also there's the possibility she wanted to write herself into the story more, as the one he really wanted to marry. The "it would kill me to marry Mary Todd" is usually presented without context - he agreed she's a nice girl, so I don't think he was afraid of her personally. Who knows? All these accounts and it never straightens out. I've been doing a lot of newspaper database research and there is one article that casually suggests (like the author is someone who had personal information) that there were 2 botched weddings - Lincoln and Mary each jilting each other, before finally marrying. How weird would that be? But someone surely would have left more of a record - it seems like no one really knew the details of what was going on, and so we probably won't either.

[RJNorton]

Thanks for posting this, Kerry. Here is what caught my eye:

"It might have been the belief that he did not love her, or the fear of the responsibilities of marriage, but at any rate for lack of a better word, I must say that Lincoln jilted her. The wedding day was set and all was ready, but Mr. Lincoln failed to appear. Mr. Lincoln went to the home of Joshua Speed, and almost immediately became violently ill. My brother-in-law, Mr. Butler, and my sister . . . went over and got him and brought him over to their home, where my sister nursed him through a long illness.."

Over the years William Herndon has been criticized by historians for "creating" the story of Lincoln being a "no-show" at his own wedding. Because Sarah Rickard's interview took place as late as 1907, was she going by what Herndon had already said? Or was she going by what she knew and saw herself? If the latter, then there is more support for Herndon's disputed version of the story IMO.

[kerry]

(07-21-2017 03:50 AM)RJNorton Wrote:  Thanks for posting this, Kerry. Here is what caught my eye:

"It might have been the belief that he did not love her, or the fear of the responsibilities of marriage, but at any rate for lack of a better word, I must say that Lincoln jilted her. The wedding day was set and all was ready, but Mr. Lincoln failed to appear. Mr. Lincoln went to the home of Joshua Speed, and almost immediately became violently ill. My brother-in-law, Mr. Butler, and my sister . . . went over and got him and brought him over to their home, where my sister nursed him through a long illness.."

Over the years William Herndon has been criticized by historians for "creating" the story of Lincoln being a "no-show" at his own wedding. Because Sarah Rickard's interview took place as late as 1907, was she going by what Herndon had already said? Or was she going by what she knew and saw herself? If the latter, then there is more support for Herndon's disputed version of the story IMO.

She definitely seems familiar with Herndon's work, so that's what I was trying to figure out as well. That's why I said I don't know how close she was to the situation - it seems like the Butlers would have known what was going on. But most of the involved parties never mentioned such a thing, so it's always seemed to me like Herndon made it up, and Sarah was kind of merging his statements with her own experience. It is interesting that Speed never cleared that up.

Another article has the younger brother of Julia Jayne saying that there was no jilting, and that he did not understand how that story came about, and no one can explain it, but that Herndon had told him that he had it straight from Mary. Perhaps William Jayne misremembered him saying that he had heard it straight from Elizabeth Edwards, who said there was a prior wedding attempt. How could Elizabeth make a mistake like that? Either she for some reason wanted that version out there, or it happened. When Weik went back to interview the Edwards Elizabeth said it again and Ninian reminded her she was speaking to a reporter and she stopped.

Sometimes I wonder if for some reason a very low-key wedding was scheduled, and so few people were involved that gossip didn't get around when Lincoln backed out. If it was family only, they could have kept it quiet out of embarrassment. I don't know - this debate has gone on for so long with so little clarification resulting. My general feeling is that there was only one wedding, but the fact that Elizabeth Edwards, who would know, said otherwise is odd. It was like she was trying to preemptively cover something that apparently no one else brought up. Meanwhile Mary worked hard to plant the story that she was torn between Lincoln and Douglass and Lincoln fell apart as a result - a story that isn't really supported by any witnesses, but would be a nicer story from Mary's perspective. But Elizabeth wasn't helping her sell that story - she jumps in with the he said he hated her etc. It is an odd narrative to invent with no apparent benefit to Elizabeth's sense of propriety.