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Did Lincoln Regret Marrying Mary?
11-13-2013, 09:50 PM (This post was last modified: 11-13-2013 11:05 PM by Eva Elisabeth.)
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RE: Did Lincoln Regret Marrying Mary?
Sometimes I'm quite astonished that the idea Abraham Lincoln might have regretted his marriage is picked up so often. Just that "we" probably (all) have different ideas of a happy marriage - and probably different to what we THINK A. L. experienced - doesn't justify to conclude he suffered from his marriage. I don't think he ever considered himself unhappily married or felt he suffered from those of Mary's character traits many people consider abusing. I don't think he ever felt abused. Why else would he e.g. have gone home during a thunderstorm to calm Mary down if her probably hysterical fits had annoyed him?

Is there any hint that once married A. L. shed any serious thought on other women (including Mses Griffin, Ord and Salm Salm) in this regard? Or any statement where he expressed regret? (I wouldn't consider the statement about committing her to an asylum alone sufficient evidence.)

Also, IMO, the idea of getting divorced as soon as any difficulties occur did not match A. L.'s attitude towards taking on responsibility for a decision - including for marriage as a lifelong decision, in good times and bad.

Finally, I don't think A. Lincoln was so much afraid of stigmata. Would a divorce have harmed him politically? Perhaps, but I think the lack of Mary's support would have been the most harming side of such a coin. Or, as Mary's nephew Albert S. Edwards said: Mary "had more to do with making Mr. Lincoln president than many people think". And I think Mr. Lincoln knew that.
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Did Lincoln Regret Marrying Mary? - Gene C - 10-07-2013, 11:16 AM
RE: Did Lincoln Regret Marrying Mary? - Eva Elisabeth - 11-13-2013 09:50 PM

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