Mary Todd Lincoln's faux pas (plural), worse, and much worse

[Linda Anderson]

(06-13-2014 02:19 AM)David Lockmiller Wrote:  [quote='Linda Anderson' pid='34120' dateline='1402584435']

You state above that you "don't think Burlingame gives enough credit to Lincoln for loving this difficult woman." Lincoln did the best he could in the marriage, the very best he knew how in dealing with this very difficult and highly insensitive woman right up to the very end of his life. He never abandoned her to uncontrolled and justifiable criticism from himself, although sometimes he had to walk away (and stay away) from her tirades...

Sometimes, Mary Todd Lincoln showed no consideration whatsoever for the difficulties and challenges that Abraham Lincoln faced as President of the United States in four years of Civil War. Lincoln did not have a well-deserved partner in marriage; he had a very difficult woman with whom he had to contend on many occasions.

From a woman's perspective, I should want to know how does such a highly-respected man "love" a difficult woman such as Mary Todd Lincoln?

David, I think I should rephrase my sentence to, "I don't think Burlingame gives enough credit to Lincoln for more than likely loving this difficult woman." After all, I don't know if Lincoln loved her, although it looks that way to me, and you don't know that he didn't. We can only guess. He certainly was very considerate and compassionate towards her.

Also, it seems to me that Lincoln was a "difficult" husband in that he spent a lot of time and energy on things other than Mary. I think that no matter how difficult Mary made Lincoln's life, and he made hers, she clearly loved him very much and he must have basked in that love.

"On Wednesday [April 12] Lincoln in his office wrote a little note to his wife, a loverlike note from a man long married..." Randall, Mary Lincoln: The Biography of a Marriage.

The following is from a letter from Mary Lincoln to Mary Jane Welles dated July, 11, 1865 describing that "little note."

"This morning, I have been looking over & arranging a large package of his dear, loving letters to me, many of them written to me, in the 'long ago,' and quite yellow with age, others, more recent & one written from his office, only the Wednesday before, a few lines, playfully & tenderly worded, notifying, the hour, of the day, he would drive with me!" Turner, Mary Todd Lincoln: Her Life and Letters

So David, I can't answer your question about "how does such a highly respected man "love" a difficult woman such as Mary Todd Lincoln?" because it would involve knowing things about these two people, or any two people for that matter, that an outsider can never know.

All I know is that "Love is Strange." Cue Gene.