Sarah Rickard

[kerry]

In 1907, Sarah did a newspaper interview. Some of this has been said before (maybe in an interview with Herndon?) but some seems new. Unfortunately, it doesn't clear anything up, but it does given context. My summary:

In 1907, Sarah Rickard Barret gave an interview to the Kansas City Star. She went to live with her sister, Mrs. Butler, at the house where Lincoln took all his meals, and they got to know each other a lot. On their first meeting, when she was 9, Lincoln pulled her onto his lap and asked her her name, age, and the status of her studies . . . "I thought I was almost too big a girl to sit on the knee of any one, much less young man who looked like a huge, tall boy, so I wriggled down and hurried back to the kitchen.” She noted Lincoln “had on a long jeans coat, that came own below his knees, and I thought he was very homely. But after he got to going around to the courts and making speeches and mixing up in society, there was a wonderful come-out in ’Abe’ and he spruced up a good deal, and wasn’t behind the times.” When she was 16, he took her to the theater and parties Asked if he proposed to her, she said “well yes—or, at lest she came mighty nigh to it. He knew I was not thinking of marrying . . . But he hinted marriage to me several times . . . and one evening while ‘Abe’ and I were alone together in the parlor, he became very serious and said to me: ‘Now, Sarah, you know your bible well enough to know that Sarah was Abraham’s wife.’ I knew what was coming so I got up and left the room. If I’d known that he would have been president I would have paid more attention to him. I can tell you something that may be news about the courtship of Mr. Lincoln and Mary Todd, though it is pretty well known that Mary Todd was madly in love with Mr. Lincoln. She simply loved him and would have him whether or not. She was a bright, fascinating girl, with an unusual gift of sarcasm. She had a way of saying sharp, brilliant and sometimes cutting things. Mr. Lincoln admired her greatly, and though he still continued to take me to the theater and to dances, and to show some attention to Matilda Edwards, also, it was the talk of Springfield that Mary Todd would marry him in spite of himself. Things went on until Mr. Lincoln found himself enmeshed in an engagement with Mary. And now comes the odd phase in the life of the man. He broke off with Mary outright—just quit. He seems to be afraid too marry her. It might have been the belief that he did not love her, or the fear of the responsibilities of marriage, but at any rate for lack of a better word, I must say that Lincoln jilted her. The wedding day was set and all was ready, but Mr. Lincoln failed to appear. Mr. Lincoln went to the home of Joshua Speed, and almost immediately became violently ill. My brother-in-law, Mr. Butler, and my sister . . . went over and got him and brought him over to their home, where my sister nursed him through a long illness.. Mr. Lincoln did not seem to recover, and my sister, who had watched him closely, decided that he had something on his mind. At last she decided upon a plan of action, and one day went into Mr. Lincoln’s room, closed the door and, walking over to the bed, said: “‘Now, ‘Abe,’ what is the matter? Tell me all about it.’” And he did. Suffering under the ought that he had treated Mary Todd badly, knowing that she loved him, and that he had broken off the wedding, Mr. Lincoln was wearing his very life away in an agony of remorse. He made no excuse for breaking with Mary, but said sadly to my sister: ‘Mrs. Butler, it would just kill me to marry Mary Todd.’ ‘ But she’s a nice girl,’ my sister urged, ‘and you won’t be poor always.’ ‘It isn’t that,’’ said Mr. Lincoln, desperately. ‘There are plenty of nice girls, and there’s one that I would much rather marry than Mary. I’d rather have Sarah for my wife than any girl I know.’ …After my sister’s interview with Mr. Lincoln about the Mary Todd business he didn't’ see her any more for a long time. At last we all went down to Jacksonville to attend the wedding of Miss Nellie Haring, whose brother was a distinguished officer during the Mexican war. I went to the wedding and so did . . . Mr. Lincoln and Miss Todd. I sat next to Mr. Lincoln at the wedding dinner. He was going with me quite a good deal then. Mary Todd sat just across. Of course, rather than bring restraint upon the company, they spoke to each other, and that was the beginning off the reconciliation. When we all got back to Springfield and Mrs. Edwards . . . heard of it she was furious. She felt that Mr. Lincoln had treated Mary badly, and she forbade him the house. So Mary would quietly go over to the home of Mrs. Simeon Francis . . . and then Mrs. Francis would send for Mr. Lincoln. That was how the second courtship of Mary Todd and Mr. Lincoln came about, and no matter how might have been at first, Mary certainly made most of the plans and did the courting. I have never been able to account satisfactorily for Mr. Lincoln’s behavior about that time. He was the gentlest, most honest man I ever knew, and feeling that he had perhaps not fully appreciated the great love which Mary Todd undoubtedly had for him at first, he set about to make himself return it. Mary worshiped him, and he knew it, and knowing her worthiness he determined to make her happy. At last they were engaged again."

Sarah claims he jilted Mary - not sure how close Sarah was to the situation at the time, as she was apparently courting her future husband (letters to Herndon indicate it was not a happy marriage, and she though the Lincolns' marriage was also unfortunate). Also there's the possibility she wanted to write herself into the story more, as the one he really wanted to marry. The "it would kill me to marry Mary Todd" is usually presented without context - he agreed she's a nice girl, so I don't think he was afraid of her personally. Who knows? All these accounts and it never straightens out. I've been doing a lot of newspaper database research and there is one article that casually suggests (like the author is someone who had personal information) that there were 2 botched weddings - Lincoln and Mary each jilting each other, before finally marrying. How weird would that be? But someone surely would have left more of a record - it seems like no one really knew the details of what was going on, and so we probably won't either.