Grant and Lincoln's invitation

[Eva Elisabeth]

I'm so in awe of all this fascinating research and all the thoughts that have already been posted that I almost don't dare to add my incompetent opinion. However, I'm, too, a defender of Mrs. Lincoln as I think she received way more scolding for her weaknesses than praise on her "positive account".

I think all the mentioned (possible) reasons had their share in and easened the final decision, and I think none of the Grants was actually in the mood to spend Good Friday at the theater, maybe even for different reasons. I don't think Mary was a reason for Gen. Grant, but I think he didn't enjoy the thought of being in the eye of such a public hurricane (and I think that was rather what the previous night's "illuminations (tor)tour" increased/added to). However, since he had to rebuff A. Lincoln, whom he liked, I think he was simply glad his wife decided this way and he could refer to her. And Mrs. Grant? I think if at all, Mary was a minor reason for her, too. Overall the departure looks rather like a flight to me, and for a flight, premonitions and fears of threats on Grant's (her husband's) life seem to me the most likely paramount/decisive trigger, to which the other reasons came handy - well, maybe though it was also the other way round and the fears and premonitions came handy for the desire to go home (and IMO doubtlessly both desired to see their children ASAP).
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(10-11-2014 05:21 PM)L Verge Wrote:  As you have probably read from some of the other threads, Kees, I am a defender of Mary Lincoln; and I think you have brought out some very valid points and questions. Who, besides Herndon and his modern acolyte Dr. Burlingame, contributed personal diatribes against the First Lady during her time in Washington? I have never checked, but Kate Chase is certainly one who comes to mind. What Cabinet wives voiced opinions? Mrs. Welles considered the First Lady a friend, and Mrs. Seward supposedly dined with her and Mr. Lincoln on at least one occasion. Did Washington socialites spread vicious gossip because of her supposed Confederate ties?

Mrs. Lincoln was also a woman ahead of her time in education, politics, and opinions -- traits that the good old boys on Capitol Hill did/do not generally appreciate in a female. IMO, men can be some of the worst gossipers and criticizers on earth. They just have a different way of doing it. Let's speculate.

Couldn't second you more but adding this: Julia Taft stated that Mary was loved by all children (can add the correct quote later), and "children and fools speak the truth".