Grant and Lincoln's invitation

[loetar44]

Mary Lincoln was according to historians one of the most unpopular, most controversial, most tragic and mysterious first ladies in American history. That a lot of people disliked , or even hated her is a widely shared belief. But she was also the most misunderstood first lady. I raised the question earlier in this thread, but no one responded. So I raise it again. Mary Lincoln was objectively seen not easy to get along with, but there were also a lot of people who succeeded pretty well with her. As far as I know Julia Grant NEVER said that she could not get along with Lincoln’s wife. Maybe it was not her best friend, but it is known (see her diary) that she forgave her “misbehavior” (for instance her snappish remark about becoming a First Lady) and understood (I think) that Mary ordinarily was affable and even charming in her manners, but when offended or antagonized she could be very bitter and sarcastic. And she was highly jealous. But it was by no means Julia Grant’s meaning to offend or antagonize her, or to make her jealous. I understand that Mary and Julia grew never very close, but as far as I know they were also not openly enemies. So, here is my question again: who was the first who said that Julia hated Mary so much, that she could not stand her in such a way that she never wanted to sit with her in one box? Who started this by saying this? Or arose this view in the course of time to have a reasonable explanation why de Grants left the city in the evening of April 14 after first promising to attend the play with the Lincolns? It was even advertised….I understand that rehabilitation for Mary is no easy task, but why not give it a try.