Pictorial representations Lincoln’s deathbed

[LincolnToddFan]

[a lot of people find the concept of brain death difficult to accept, but when my twin brother died almost 25 years ago caused by a sudden hemorrhage of the brain stem, he was pronounced dead almost 5 hours before his heartbeat and breathing stopped. My two boys (12 and 14 then, both with very sensitive minds, but they definitely wanted to see their dying / dead uncle) were in that closing hours with me, to say goodbye. Of course there was not any reaction from my brother. ]// quote

Kees, I am so sorry and heartbroken for you to have lost not only a brother...but your twin! :(It's very generous and brave of you to share this information with us here..thank you.

The information about AL struggling to move his arms at one point is something that I read long ago, and it haunted me because I wondered if it meant that he was aware somehow of what was happening to him and he was trying to fight his way back. I hope it was, as you say, only the final muscular spasms as his brain and nervous system shut completely off.

I have seen that famous photo of AL's death bed taken only a few minutes after his body was wrapped in sheets and carried back to the White House. Even though the photograph is faded with time and in black/white, you still know something very, very bad has taken place in that room. The blood soaked pillows are still seen very clearly on the bed. I know that your two young sons were able to see their dying uncle and be comforted, but we must remember the type of personality young Tad had in comparison to your boys. At the age of 12 he could neither read nor dress himself. He threw crying tantrums when thwarted. He slept in his father's bed at night. He had a serious speech impediment and some people still believe he was at least mildly retarded. According to several books I have read, most recently "How a Nation Grieves" by Glen Alan Cheney, the child became completely overcome with grief at his father's East Room funeral service and had to be taken away, sobbing.

When Sen. Robert F. Kennedy was shot behind the ear in 1968 and lay dying at the Hospital of the Good Samaritan in L.A., his wife Ethel made the decision to summon the three eldest of their ten children to Los Angeles to say good-bye to their comatose father. (One of them, 14 year old RFK Jr, declined to come) The then 16 year old Joseph later described the experience of seeing his father wrapped up like a mummy with only his bruised and swollen face visible as "hellish", and his younger brother, 12 year old David who had accidentally witnessed the shooting live on TV in his hotel suite, sank into the drug and alcohol addiction that later claimed his life at age 27.("The Kennedys: An American Drama" by Peter Collier and David Horowitz)

I guess I believe in most cases it IS a good idea to bring children to the side of a dying loved one, both to honor their relationship with the dying person and to give them a sense of closure. But there are circumstances that need to be considered...such as the emotional temperament of the child, their age, and most of all the death scene itself. Tad would have seen his father that night or morning not as his beloved "Papa-day" sleeping peacefully. He would have seen a disfigured bloody father who he probably would not have even recognized. Taking all that into effect, it was probably best for Tad not to have been exposed to the stark horror of the Petersen House that night.