Lincoln & Herndon

[Eva Elisabeth]

(07-09-2014 01:56 PM)Angela Wrote:  I’m sure, Lincoln found Mary agreeable – after all, she presented herself as kind (as you pointed out – as we all do) before marriage but I think he knew exactly that marrying into the Todd family would help secure his place.

(07-09-2014 04:14 AM)Angela Wrote:  ...she wanted to marry a future president, he needed a wife - done.

I think A. L.'s interest in marrying Mary surmounted his interest in marrying into the Todd family (which neverthless he sure appreciated). Also Mary would sure have sensed if there was no deeper interest from A. L.'s side but seeking to improve his status and chances in life. Would she have engaged in such a marriage?

To clarify: I'm talking about the "order of importance" of reasons, or the other way round: I think neither A. L. nor Mary would have married solely upon practical/rational reasons, and I also think finding the partner nothing but "agreeable" would have been enough for neither of them to enter marriage.

I'd like to learn further opinions. So, what do you think on this? What was A. L.'s "main objective", how important was it for him to marry into the Todd family, or any similar clan, how great was the pressure to marry soon?

My question to the experts on Victorian/19th century family life: in how far were weddings rather acceptable, rational arrangements and agreements rather than predominantly/ solely matters of love compared to nowadays? E.g. in cases when the Miss advanced in age? How influential were parents (especially from "upper" social classes) on their daughters/sons decisions?