Did Lincoln Regret Marrying Mary?

[Eva Elisabeth]

Liz, I agree with you on Mary's behavior during the White House years and afterwards. Much of this is not to justify. Still I think a part of it resulted from that she generally was different to what women in those days were expected to be. Also I think she was aware of her mistakes. And to understand doesn't mean to justify. (I admit, Robert I find much more difficult to understand.) However, her behavior against Tad after Willie's death indeed is not at all understandable (to me). But the question was if A. Lincoln ever regretted his marriage. Well, he ofted showed he was aware that nobody is perfect and everyone has positive and less positive character traits. And he was willing to forgive mistakes and misbehaving. About Mary's tempers he once said: "It does her a power of good, and it doesn't hurt me any." I think A. Lincoln was aware Mary was far more extreme than others (positive as negative) - probably due to what today is called "bipolar disorder" - and I think he cared much more for the positive traits and for what he and Mary shared - love for children, poetry, theater, politics and travelling. Imagine Ann Ruthledge or Mary Owens as First Lady - how would they have represented this role, how would they have dealt with politics, politicians, people and the war?
Interestingly, children always liked Mary. Julia I. Spriggs e.g. said:"She was the kind of woman that children liked, and children would be attracted to her." Julia Taft felt similar during the White House Years, and in later life, one of Mary's "true friends" in the Edwards' house when she came from Batavia was her grandnephew Edward Lewis Baker, Jr. Children are less influenced in their judgement on people and their behavior by what other people or society rules predict.

These are my questions to (all of) you:
What do you think of Ann Ruthledge or Mary Owens as First Lady? And - had A. Lincoln survived presidency - what would his marriage have developed like? Positive? The same? Worse? How would Mary have developed? Having more time - how would A. Lincoln have (re)acted e.g. regarding her "shopping addiction"?